The One You Feed

A podcast about feeding your good wolf

Post Traumatic Church Syndrome with Reba Riley

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post traumatic church syndrome

Reba Riley is a blogger, artist, and healer. She travels the world speaking about transformation, courage, health, and healing. Her book, Post Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing, is the topic of discussion in this episode. You will be moved and inspired by Reba’s story. As it turns out, kindness, love, and bravery really are some of the most powerful forces to harness for healing and hope and that’s what she discovered as she explored 30 religions before she turned 30 and battled a deep depression in the years following.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Reba Riley and I Discuss Post Traumatic Church Syndrome, and …

  • Her book, Post Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing
  • Her chronic illness
  • Facing her anger and bitterness
  • 30 religions before she turned 30
  • Life being grey when religions answers are often black and white
  • That love is bigger than everything
  • Love healing us and bringing us together
  • Her mothers love through her journey
  • That wherever she found love (in the 30 religions) she found God
  • How love and forgiveness have to start in each of us
  • Looking past beliefs and differences and judgments to find the love that exists
  • If love rolled up her sleeves and put on her work boots, kindness is what would happen
  • Kindness is the action, the outpouring, the verb – of love
  • Kindness is love made visible
  • Her battle with dark, debilitating depression
  • Feeling like she had no reason to do anything, no will to live
  • Using kindness to battle depression
  • How she did 5000 random acts of kindness over 18 months and it saved her life
  • The story she hasn’t told anywhere else about her relapse of depression 
  • The alchemy of kindness to transform your pain
  • Couraging = brave as a verb

Reba Riley Links:

rebariley.com

Twitter

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The Great Courses Plus: Learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get one month for free at  www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

If you enjoyed this conversation with Reba Riley on post traumatic church syndrome, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Donna Cameron

Barbara Bonner

Sarah Shockley

Melody Warnick on Loving the Place you Live

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This week we talk to Melody Warnick, a freelance journalist for more than a decade, she has written for Reader’s Digest, O: The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, The Atlantic’s CityLab, and dozens of other publications. She is the author of This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live.  How we come to feel at home in our towns and cities is what Warnick sets out to discover in This Is Where You Belong. She dives into the body of research around place attachment—the deep sense of connection that binds some of us to our cities and increases our physical and emotional well-being—then travels to towns across America to see it in action. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Melody Warnick and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable
  • Moving often
  • Liking where you live
  • Committing to where you are and making the best of it
  • The difference between people who are movers, stuck and rooted
  • Always thinking happiness is “out there” somewhere
  • Why walking more helps you love where you live
  • What is your Walk Score
  • Each town is different to each person depending on perspective- there is no objective town
  • Where would you take visitors in your town?
  • Taking advantage of the things your town offers
  • The paradox of choice
  • How important nature is in feeding your good wolf and loving where you live
  • Buying local
  • The power of “weak ties”

Melody Warnick Links:

melodywarnick.com

Twitter

Instagram

Motives and Human Behavior with Robin Hanson

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Robin Hanson is an Associate Professor of Economics at George Mason University and a Research Associate at the Future of Humanity Institute of Oxford University. His book, The Elephant In The Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. They explore topics like motives, perspective, the left brain interpreter and so much more as it relates to human behavior. This episode will give you a lot of insight into yourself and others.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Robin Hanson and I Discuss Motives, Human Behavior, and …

  • His book, The Elephant In The Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life
  • How often, we keep our true motives hidden from others
  • That we also keep our true motives hidden from ourselves
  • Modularity
  • The things happening at a conscious as well as an unconscious level
  • The left brain interpreter being like a press secretary
  • Needing to tell a story about our motives
  • Questioning whether or not you know the motives of others
  • That we have multiple motives for doing things
  • Understand others and then assume you’re a lot like them
  • Cynicism and Misanthropy
  • Perspective
  • The evolution to protect ourselves from each other
  • The need to have others like us and think well of us
  • Obliviation
  • What if others couldn’t see what you bought – that their opinion of you wouldn’t change because of what you bought – how would that change what you’d buy?
  • That we pay a lot for variety
  • Proximate and distal causes
  • That evolution designed us to be relatively unaware of our motives – so why is it good to know about them?

Robin Hanson Links:

elephantinthebrain.com

overcomingbias.com

Twitter

Ted Talk

Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get one month for free at  www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Talkspace:  the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get $65 off your first month.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Robin Hanson on motives and human behavior, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

James Clear

BJ Fogg

Getting Things Done with Charlie Gilkey

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Getting Things Done

Charlie Gilkey is the author of Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done. An Army veteran and near Ph.D. in philosophy, Charlie is the founder of Productive Flourishing, a company that helps professional creatives, leaders, and change-makers take meaningful action on work matters. He’s widely cited in outlets such as Inc. Magazine, Time, Forbes, The Guardian, Life Hacker and more and his work will help you discover the path from the ideas in your head to the actions you take in your daily life and the way you live out your values – and most importantly how to go about getting things done.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Charlie Gilkey and I Discuss Getting Things Done and …

  • His book, Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done
  • How kindness towards others often brings out the best in everyone
  • The Tao Te Ching
  • Focusing on your input and letting go of the results
  • Why finishing is so important
  • That we only get mastery from finishing things, not halfway doing them
  • We don’t just improve by thinking about things, we improve by doing them
  • Creative constipation breeds toxicity 
  • We’re either creating something or destroying something
  • We don’t do ideas, we do projects
  • How it feels good to think about our ideas
  • How doing our best work is often really hard
  • The myth: if it’s meant to be for us, it’s supposed to be easy
  • That when you start something you’re not as good at it as you want to be and it takes time to and effort to get better
  • The myth that if it doesn’t come easy for you, you shouldn’t do it
  • Doing something until you’re good enough at it to decide whether or not you want to continue doing it
  • The 5 things that get in the way of doing our best work
  • Head Trash: Doesn’t matter if a thought is true or not – it matters if we believe it or not
  • The problem with automatically believing our thoughts
  • How discipline limits decision fatigue
  • Action expresses priority
  • Being sick isn’t a character defect – how you respond to it matters
  • That big life changes take life force and energy in order for us to respond to and deal with them and that’s life force that we can’t put towards other things – and that’s ok

Charlie Gilkey Links:

productiveflourishing.com

Twitter

Facebook

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Phlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolf

Calm: The #1 rated app for meditation. They have meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. www.calm.com/wolf 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

If you enjoyed this conversation with Charlie Gilkey on getting things done, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Chris Bailey

David Kadavy

Tim Pychyl

Mark Henick on Suicide and Depression

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Mark Henick on Suicide and Depression

Mark Henick has appeared in hundreds of television segments and countless more radio, print and online features about mental health. Mark’s TedTalk, “Why We Choose Suicide”, is among the most-watched in the world with over 6 million views. In this episode, he tells Eric about his experience with attempts at suicide, relapsing depression and getting skillful with finding meaning and living his life. This isn’t just a broad discussion on suicide and depression – there are real, practical techniques and approaches that can be applied to life today, no matter your circumstances, to create meaning, fulfillment, and yes, even joy. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Mark Henick and I Discuss Suicide, Depression, and…

  • The duality of life and death
  • Mental Health and Suicide
  • His suicidality at 12 years old
  • The message he got that he couldn’t talk about suicide
  • The complete stranger who saved him from jumping from a bridge at night – physically holding on to him
  • His realization that he didn’t have to be the suffering boy he was, he could be the stranger that helped him…that his life could be different
  • The myth that if you talk about suicide it will give people the idea to do it
  • The right way and wrong way to talk about suicide and depression
  • How freeing it is to talk about something
  • When others told him they could relate to his story of suicide and depression
  • His recovery through a newfound sense of purpose
  • The healthier relationships he pursued
  • Getting clear about boundaries
  • The toxic masculinity he was surrounded by as a child
  • Not having the language to express the feelings he had
  • The perceptual field and increasing your options by getting uncomfortable.
  • How depression limits the options you can see 
  • Broadening of perception and expansion as a part of awakening
  • Something good can come from most painful situations; It’s in the lens you take and the work that you do.
  • His depression and social anxiety disorder
  • The danger in an avoidant coping strategy as well as the flaws of perfectionism.
  • Realizing the cross you bear can change into meaning and how to turn your struggle into something good.
  • Getting good at re-lapsing with his depression
  • His misguided thought that he was failing at getting better
  • Learning to trust himself AND learning not to believe every one of his thoughts
  • The truth: This too shall pass (the more you cling to it the longer it takes to pass)
  • How depression hates a moving target

Mark Henick Links:

markhenick.com

Ted Talk: “Why We Choose Suicide”

Twitter

Facebook

Talkspace:  the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.

Daily Harvest – Delivers absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get $25 off your first box go to www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code: FEED

If you enjoyed this conversation with Mark Henick on suicide and depression, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Akshay Nanavati

Elisha Goldstein, PhD

Living with Chronic Pain with Sarah Shockley

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Living with Chronic Pain - Sarah Shockley

Sarah Shockley is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films including Dancing From the Inside Out, a highly acclaimed documentary on disabled dance. Sarah is the author of a number of books on living with chronic pain, including the one discussed in this episode, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Sarah Shockley and I Discuss Living with Chronic Pain and…

  • Her book, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain
  • How it’s hard for us to heal when we’re in a battle with pain
  • The good wolf aspect of pain
  • Feeding into healing vs feeding in living with chronic pain
  • Her experience with debilitating pain
  • The many components of chronic pain – in addition to the physical component
  • How isolating chronic pain can be 
  • Chronic emotional pain
  • Seeing pain differently
  • Turning towards pain and asking it, “What could positively be your positive purpose here?”
  • What you resist persists
  • Becoming partners with your pain
  • Thinking of pain as the voice of something within you that wants to be healed
  • Creating a different relationship with pain
  • We lock pain in place when we get into a resistant mode
  • Giving pain a lot of space
  • Breathing into the pain
  • The messages that pain brought her
  • Asking pain, “What do you need?”
  • How her life has been transformed by changing her relationship and experience with chronic pain
  • That she wrote the book she wished she had been given in the midst of her struggle with pain
  • That being seen in your pain can be the beginning of healing
  • Living with chronic pain and what she imagined her pain looking like

Sarah Shockley Links:

thepaincompanion.com

Facebook

YouTube

DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30. www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

If you enjoyed this conversation with Sarah Shockley on living with chronic pain, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Toni Bernhard

Michael Galinsky

Conscious Leadership with Eric Kaufmann

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Conscious Leadership with Eric Kaufmann

Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders including executives and team leaders at Sony, TMobile, Genentec and Alcon Labs just to name a few. He is the founder of Sagatica Inc and he serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his work of teaching conscious leadership in the workplace.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss Conscious leadership and…

  • How he interacts with his shadow side
  • The key to not making a situation worse
  • His practice of refrain and return
  • Conscious leadership
  • Unrelenting commitment to results with an unwavering regard for spirit
  • What someone says they want vs what they need
  • The courage it takes to say no
  • The 3 building blocks of our egoic state
  • The 3 pillars of being a conscious leadership
  • Wisdom = mistakes + time
  • Wisdom = Seeing below the surface and beyond the obvious
  • How cultivating wisdom is a practice and how humor cultivates wisdom.
  • Courage is walking toward what you want to walk away from
  • Have the courage to Speak Up, Care, Commit
  • How sarcasm can be a mask of fear
  • How it takes energy to withhold
  • Love is expansive, inclusive, and connective
  • The things that get in the way of love
  • Other aspects of conscious leadership

Eric Kaufmann Links:

sagatica.com

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests.  Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30.  www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

If you enjoyed this conversation with Eric Kaufmann on conscious leadership, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Eric Kaufmann (2016)

Simon Sinek

Brent Williams on Recovering from Depression

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Brent Williams suffered for a long time from depression and anxiety and during that time he kept a journal about his thoughts, feelings, and experiences. That journal has now been turned in to a beautiful graphic novel called, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety. In this episode, Brent and Eric use his story as a jumping-off point to discuss how depression can show up in your life and how you can realistically, practically, and effectively find your way out of it.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Brent Williams and I Discuss…

  • His book, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety
  • How subtle depression can be in your life – permeating everything 
  • All the things he went to as a diagnosis before he admitted it was depression he was suffering from
  • His resistance to taking depression medication
  • How he watched his father take medication for anxiety and how it changed him
  • His resistance to taking help from others
  • His experience in therapy
  • The metaphor of depression medication being a life preserver but you still have to swim back to shore
  • The components of self-care: eat well, exercise, be with people, be outside, get support, stop ruminating, proper sleep
  • How fundamental good nutrition is when it comes to mental well being
  • Doing small and manageable things when you’re depressed
  • How the reward mechanism in your brain isn’t working properly when you’re depressed
  • How it took him a while to find the right therapist 
  • The potential danger of meditating when depressed
  • That mindfulness meditation was the form of meditating that helped him most
  • The impact of keeping a mood chart – seeing a pattern that you can’t see at the time
  • That sometimes you just have to push yourself over the hurdle of doing things that are good for you when you don’t feel like doing them
  • Looking at your activities to assess your mental wellbeing
  • Depression showing up as irritability in men

Brent Williams Links:

outofthewoods.co.nz **Special Offer** for The One You Feed listeners! Buy 1 Book, Get 1 Free to give to a friend, family member or a community center!

Facebook

Twitter

Phlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolf


FabFitFun – A women’s lifestyle subscription box filled with full-size premium items that you will love. Eric’s girlfriend is honestly obsessed because the items in this box are just so good. Give yourself this gift – use the promo code FEED for $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com

If you enjoyed this conversation with Brent Williams, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Kevin Breel

Jonathan Rottenberg

Elisha Goldstein

Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships

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Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, and a leader in the field of couple interventions.  She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California. In this interview, Dr. Sue Johnson discuss her best selling book, “Hold Me Tight:  7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” about how to help couples enhance and repair their relationships.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Dr. Sue Johnson and I Discuss…

  • Her book, Hold Me Tight:  7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
  • The wolf parable and how therapists act as the third wolf for couples.
  • Relationships are often stuck in fear and anger
  • Emotional disconnection causes distress in relationships.
  • Attachment needs continue into adulthood, especially in romantic relationships.
  • Common conversations in distressed relationships are known as “demon dialogues”.
  • Relationships stuck in predictable patterns, or the “Protest Polka”.
  • “Freeze and Flee”means one person gives up on the relationship. 
  • “Find the Bad Guy,” in other words, “It’s not me, it’s you” 
  • Understanding the circle of criticism, or the “dance” you’re stuck in.
  • Learning to blame this “dance” rather than each other.  
  • The “hold me tight conversation” that creates safety in the relationship.
  • Understanding the negative cycle that causes disconnection.
  • Creating a positive cycle by creating a secure bond
  • “ARE” – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement.
  • Talking about fears rather than acting on them leads to bonding.
  • Emotional connection in a relationship is a source of joy and strength.

Dr. Sue Johnson Links:

drsuejohnson.com

Twitter

Facebook

TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.

DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF

Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

If you enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Sue Johnson, you might also enjoy these other episodes!

Amy Banks

Susan Piver

Gabe Howard on Mental Illness

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Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer, speaker, and host of the weekly Psych Central show who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. His new book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. You’ll be captivated by Gabe’s story as he tells it – it’s compelling, relatable, inspiring, and educational. Whether or not you have bipolar disorder or another mental illness, chances are you know someone or some people who do and so this is an important episode to listen to – you’ll deepen your understanding of what it means to live with mental illness. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Gabe Howard and I Discuss…

  • His book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations
  • What bipolar disorder is (and isn’t) and how it shows up in his life
  • His compelling story
  • The myth that people with mental illness come from bad families
  • When he went to the ER because of suicidal thoughts
  • How he defines recovery: spending more time living life than managing his bipolar disorder
  • The 4 years he spent in a battle with his mental illness
  • How you have to learn what works for you –  and how that takes time
  • The role of medication in the treatment of mental illness
  • How it stings when your body lets you down
  • Eric’s experience taking and not taking medication for his depression
  • Whole health wellness
  • Suicide
  • Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem
  • How suicide doesn’t end the pain – it transfers it to someone else

Gabe Howard Links:

gabehoward.com

Twitter

Facebook

Calm – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. www.calm.com/wolf 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

Daily Harvest – Delivers absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get $25 off your first box go to www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code FEED

If you enjoyed this conversation with Gabe Howard, you might also enjoy these other episodes!

Paul Gilmartin

Kevin Breel

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