The One You Feed

Practical Wisdom for a Better Life

Meditation & Mindfulness

A collection of The One You Feed Episodes that deal with meditation and mindfulness

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D-Mindfulness and Depression

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Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living in West Los Angeles and is the creator of the 6-month Coaching and Mentorship Program: A Course in Mindful Living. He’s a psychologist and international speaker and mindfulness educator. He’s written many books and in this episode, he and Eric discuss his book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion. There are so many practical approaches and new perspectives in this episode. We think you’ll get a lot of useful information out of the conversation.

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In This Interview, Elisha Goldstein and I Discuss…

  • His book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion
  • That what you practice and repeat is what you get
  • Depression Triggers and Depression Cures
  • Thoughts, Emotions, Sensations, and Behaviors
  • The triangle of awareness
  • Procedural memory
  • The habit loop being like a traffic circle with 4 entry points
  • The way our brain associates things
  • The way our nervous system is overwhelmed when we’re experiencing depression
  • Avoidance and depression
  • How naming something gives us a little space and perspective
  • How naming something actually changes the activity in our brain
  • Perspective-making tools
  • The way journaling objectifies your experiences
  • Natural anti-depressants
  • Mindfulness: a state of engaged curiosity
  • Relating to your experience differently through mindfulness, self-compassion, play, compassion, purpose, and mastery
  • The growth mindset in contrast to the fixed mindset
  • Practicing being curious in your daily life to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How a learning mindset is related to a growth mindset
  • The importance of play as well as how to discover what kind of play you might enjoy as an adult

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Links:

Mindful Living Collective

elishagoldstein.com

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube Channel

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Jonathan Rottenberg

Florence Williams

Ralph De La Rosa on the Mind as Your Teacher

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Ralph De La Rosa -Full- The One You Feed

Ralph De La Rosa is a psychotherapist in private practice in NYC. He specializes in helping people resolve their childhood traumas, anxiety, depression and intimacy issues. You might have seen his work in places like CNN, GQ, Self, or Women’s Health. His new book is called The Monkey is the Messenger and it is an instructional and revolutionary look at what it means to attend and befriend ones self. In this interview, he shares some of the key practices that are most helpful along this journey. 

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 In This Interview, Ralph De La Rosa and I Discuss…

  • His book, The Monkey is the Messenger
  • The truest sentence he knows – there’s always more to the story
  • The monkey – what it is and why it’s on our side
  • The monkey mind as our teacher
  • The monkey mind drives us towards meditation and away from meditation
  • Our triggers are on the surface and they are connected to something deeper within us that’s unhealed. We can absolutely get to that root through mindfulness and meditation.
  • The value of showing up for a daily practice
  • Drawing the attention out of our head and into our body gets our brain activated in the right hemisphere
  • The right hemisphere – nonlinguistic, free of chatter
  • Emotions are held in the body
  • The unconscious mind is accessed in the body because emotions show up in our body
  • Radical Nonpathology
  • Love, gratification and safety are at the root
  • How can I be happy? How can I avoid suffering?
  • What looks pathological are our misguided attempts to meet these root needs and drivers
  • Holding our emotions like children
  • Using circumstances to heal rather than being retraumatized through emotional warmth
  • That difficult emotions are messengers to us
  • Abandoning or ignoring any part of ourselves is equivalent to enacting aggression towards ourselves. 
  • How Vinny Ferraro says you can’t hate your way into enlightenment
  • The inner critic
  • Emotions always follow a logic

Ralph De La Rosa Links

Homepage 

Instagram

Twitter

230: Adyashanti Part 2

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Adyashanti- Full- The One You Feed

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Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He’s written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it’s amazing that when you experience Adya’s teaching, it’s as if he’s speaking directly to you – to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find – if you are brutally honest in the process.

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In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

  • Self-Inquiry
  • Starting with I am not _____
  • Starting with all inclusiveness – I am _____
  • Being open to being wrong about things
  • Experiencing an “uncaused” sense of well being
  • Self-transcendent values
  • It works best in life to ______
  • When you have less internal conflict you treat the world in a different way than if you have more internal conflict
  • Removing the religious and cultural compass removes the moral north star
  • We reorient ourselves to comfort being the north star
  • Nothing mattering AND everything mattering
  • That Adya is oriented towards truth and love
  • Activities are neutral – it’s what we bring to it that gives it meaning
  • What is it about awakening that you want?
  • What is meaningful moment to moment and day by day
  • At every moment, we are giving expression to what we value
  • How nothing shuts down awakening faster than judgment
  • The spiritual persona of “I’m going to get out of this human game” or “I’m going to be here but not really be here”
  • The importance of coming to grips with the human experience of imperfection…
  • …without turning it into an excuse for unwise behavior
  • Be aware of your human limitations and don’t see them as “wrong”
  • The problematic experience of existential unworthiness
  • The economic catastrophe of a collective human awakening

Adyashanti

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

229: Adyashanti 2018 Part 1

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Adyashanti- Full- The One You Feed

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Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He’s written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it’s amazing that when you experience Adya’s teaching, it’s as if he’s speaking directly to you – to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find – if you are brutally honest in the process.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

 

In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

  • Eric’s awakening experience
  • The awakened state in perpetuity
  • The shift in perception that happens with awakening
  • The paradox of wanting something like awakening yet wanting it stands in the way of having it
  • Will gets you to the cushion and once there, it’s important to let go of it
  • Does one need a spiritual teacher when seeking awakening?
  • The teacher evoking something from vs the teacher giving something to the student
  • How people work with unconscious patterns
  • How you can’t not be awakened – even if you don’t feel it, it’s there
  • Emotional conflict
  • Paying attention to what’s recurring in you
  • Anything that’s happened to us that was too big for us to remain conscious while we experienced it, gets trapped in our system – turned into some other emotion or it just gets stuffed and is now just there waiting for you. The universe is now asking, “can you experience this now?”
  • Being fine with being sad
  • Let everything be exactly the way it is
  • How dealing with life’s experiences as they come transforms you
  • A clinched fist vs an open hand metaphor
  • “Let” vs “Let go”
  • If you can’t let it go, can you let it be
  • Failure as part of triumph
  • Failing your way through something consciously can cause a sort of transformation
  • What it looks like to build a spiritual practice
  • Daily quiet meditation, Engage in some precise self-inquiry (a wonderment of “being”)
  • How spirituality is the direct investigation of YOUR experience
  • The only way to get self-inquiry wrong is not to be ruthlessly honest about what’s happening in your experience
  • The fear of getting something wrong
  • Think of your spiritual teacher kind of like a college professor

Adyashanti

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

222: Jeff Warren on Meditating with a Busy Mind

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Jeff Warren is a former journalist and more recently is a researcher, writer, and teacher of meditation and personal growth practices. His most recent book, written with Dan Harris, is called, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book. Jeff is a likable, relatable guy who carries a lot of practical wisdom in his conversational style of communicating. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good at meditating or that meditation just isn’t for you because your brain never turns off, this interview is for you because that’s how Jeff would describe himself, particularly at the beginning of his practice years ago. We all know that meditation is good for us but for many, it just feels inaccessible and out of reach. If that is how you feel, what Jeff has to share in this interview will make that gap shrink in size so much so that you can hop right over it and try again.
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In This Interview, Jeff Warren and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His book with Dan Harris, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book
  • The role of meditation in living with depression
  • The voice in our heads
  • Not identifying with the voices in our heads
  • Coming out of the conversation in our heads
  • The idea of “I can’t meditate”
  • Thinking we’re supposed to stop thinking when we meditate
  • Changing the relationship with your thoughts
  • Focusing on an anchor, getting lost in thought, realizing you’re lost in thought and coming back to your anchor = mediation
  • How quick we are to conclude that meditation isn’t for us
  • That meditation is a practice
  • Celebrating the coming back from thought in meditation
  • Training affability during meditation
  • Finding enjoyment and curiosity during meditation
  •  Asking “What’s the attitude in my mind right now?” during meditation
  • That attitude is what you’re training during meditation
  • Looking at the world with interest
  • Equanimity = a lack of pushing and pulling on experience
  • Opening to experience so that there’s no friction
  • When everything has permission to express its self fully

Jeff Warren Links

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Please Support The Show with a Donation

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

166: Adyashanti

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This week we talk to Adyashanti about waking up

Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liberation, Resurrecting Jesus, Falling into Grace, and The End of Your World, is an American-born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire, and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence.

Asked to teach in 1996 by his Zen teacher of 14 years, Adyashanti offers teachings that are free of any tradition or ideology. “The Truth I point to is not confined within any religious point of view, belief system, or doctrine, but is open to all and found within all.” Based in California, Adyashanti teaches throughout the U.S. and in Canada, Europe, and Australia.

In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

  • That our work as humans is on the journey from a walking contradiction to a walking paradox
  • That if we see something out of alignment with our value system we feel it in our body as tension
  • That our bodies are our best aid when it comes to navigating our inner consciousness
  • That there are different types of awakening
  • That awakening is a fundamental shift of identity
  • The primary task of any good spiritual teaching is not to answer your questions but to question your answers
  • What to do when you WANT to change but then you can’t seem to change
  • The 5 foundations of spirituality
  • What is my aspiration?
  • That wanting to feel pleasure can only take us so far
  • When we start feeling better we’ll stop looking deeper
  • Never abdicate your authority
  • That “true” meditation is the art of allowing everything to be exactly as it is
  • That meditation is there for us to get experiential insight into the nature of our being, our consciousness
  • The importance of bringing your intelligence along for the ride in meditation
  • To let go of what the outcome should be in meditation
  • Our whole body is a sensory instrument through which we experience life
  • That self-inquiry is joining the intellectual mind with the contemplative spirit
  • An unresolved deep question is often what sparks an awakening
  • How contemplation is different from meditation and inquiry
  • The three means of evoking insight: contemplation, meditation, and inquiry
  • The Jesus story is a map for awakening
  • How the Jesus story is so compelling
  • What life is like for awakened people
  • That awakening can be sudden and/or it can be a gradual unfolding
  • How enlightenment is the end of one game and the beginning of another
  • The difference between exploration and seeking
  • Whether or not psychedelic drugs play a role in awakening

Adyashanti Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feedThe Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.