Mindfulness Archives - The One You Feed

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feedThe Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

148: Eric Kaufmann

October 18, 2016 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

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This week we talk to Eric Kaufmann about leadership

Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders, including executives and teams at Sony, T-Mobile, Genentech, Alcon Labs, and Teradata. He is the founder and president of Sagatica, Inc. and serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center.

His new book is called the Four Virtues of a Leader and shares practical ideas and tools that deepen a leader’s ability to be efficient, effective and deliberate.

In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
His new book, The Four Virtues of a Leader
How leadership is like The Hero’s Journey
How he used the spiritual bypass
His definition of leadership
Leadership in day to day life
His four questions surrounding leadership
The three hurdles we have to overcome to be effective
His definition of courage
Ways you can build courage
The important difference between fear and anxiety
The lifelong process of discipline
The three gems of Buddhism
Procrastination
How spiritual surrender plays into leadership

Eric Kaufmann Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

145: Melody Warnick

September 27, 2016 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

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Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group

This week we talk to Melody Warnick

Melody Warnick has been a freelance journalist for more than a decade, she has written for Reader’s Digest, O: The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, The Atlantic’s CityLab, and dozens of other publications.

She is the author of This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live. How we come to feel at home in our towns and cities is what Warnick sets out to discover in This Is Where You Belong. She dives into the body of research around place attachment—the deep sense of connection that binds some of us to our cities and increases our physical and emotional well-being—then travels to towns across America to see it in action.

In This Interview, Melody Warnick and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
Moving often
Liking where you live
Committing to where you are and making the best of it
The difference between people who are movers, stuck and rooted
Always thinking happiness is “out there” somewhere
Why walking more helps you love where you live
What is your Walk Score
Each town is different to each person depending on perspective- there is no objective town
Where would you take visitors in your town?
Taking advantage of the things your town offers
The paradox of choice
How important nature is in feeding your good wolf and loving where you live
Buying local
The power of “weak ties”

Melody Warnick Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

143: Tara Brach

September 13, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 4 Comments

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Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group

This week we talk to Tara Brach

Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. She is a guiding teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C Brach also teaches Buddhist meditation at centers for meditation and yoga in the United States and Europe including Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California, the Kripalu Center,and the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.

Brach is an engaged Buddhist specializing in the application of Buddhist teachings to emotional healing. Her 2003 book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, focuses on the use of practices such as mindfulness for healing trauma. Her 2013 book, True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart, offers practices for tapping into inner peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.

In This Interview, Tara Brach and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
Being kind to the parts of ourselves that are more primitive
The difference between feelings and thoughts
Dropping the storyline
The question of “What am I unwilling to feel?”
How we have to go through the difficult emotions to get to peace
The importance of remembering the good
Not being addicted to suffering
The habit of looking for what’s wrong
What’s the moment like if there is no problem
How we tend to always anticipating a problem
How we are almost always lost in thought
Practicing coming into our senses
Self-compassion as the most important quality on the spiritual path
Only being taught one type of meditation
Trying different types of meditation until we find the one that works best for us
The quality that helps people progress on the path of meditation: intention
How to deal with numbness
Tara’s tips on dealing with depression
How depression hates a moving target
That depression is not our fault
Finding refuge in difficult times
Instead of asking “What’s the Meaning” asking “What matters to me here”

Tara Brach Links

Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

136: Brad Warner

July 26, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 1 Comment

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This week we talk to Brad Warner about not being a jerk

Brad Warner is an ordained Zen teacher and author of the books There Is No God And He Is Always With You , Sit Down and Shut Up and Hardcore Zen. He’s also a writer for the Suicide Girls website, bass player for the hardcore punk rock group 0DFx (aka Zero Defex), star of the movies “Shoplifting From American Apparel” and “Zombie Bounty Hunter M.D.,” director of the film “Cleveland’s Screaming!” and former vice president of the US branch of the company founded by the man who created Godzilla.

His latest book is called: Don’t Be a Jerk: Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan’s Greatest Zen Master – A Radical but Reverent Paraphrasing of Dogen’s Treasury of the True Dharma Eye

In This Interview, Brad Warner and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
His book, Don’t Be a Jerk and Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan’s Greatest Zen Master
That we become the people we need to become
How a person can be a buddha one minute and a jackass the next
That once you realize what your “negative” urges are, they become less attractive for you to respond to
The answer to the question, “How do you strive to be a better person AND accept life exactly as it is?”
That the most intelligent course of action is the one that benefits everyone involved
How one of his teachers said that you need to hold an equal amount of faith and doubt
The idea that thoughts are just the secretions of your brain the same way your stomach acid are the secretion of your stomach
According to the Zen practice, there is nothing other than what exists right now
The powerful truth that Brad Warner states: “you can always improve your situation but you do so by facing it, not by running away”
The mistake that’s made when designating certain things as “self”
The role of nature as it relates to the dharma according to Dogen

Brad Warner Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

134: James R Doty

July 12, 2016 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Podcast: Download

This week we talk to James R Doty about the power of compassion

James R Doty, MD, is a Clinical Professor in the Department of Neurosurgery at Stanford University and the Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University School of Medicine. He completed his undergraduate education at the University of CA, Irvine and medical school at Tulane University. He trained in neurosurgery at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and completed fellowships in pediatric neurosurgery at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia.

As Director of CCARE, Dr. Doty has collaborated on a number of research projects focused on compassion and altruism including the use of neuro-economic models to assess altruism, use of the CCARE developed compassion cultivation training in individuals and its effect, assessment of compassionate and altruistic judgment utilizing implanted brain electrodes and the use of optogenetic techniques to assess nurturing pathways in rodents.

Dr. Doty is also an inventor, entrepreneur and philanthropist having given support to a number of charitable organizations including Children as the Peacemakers, Global Healing, the Pachamama Alliance and Family & Children Services of Silicon Valley. Additionally, he has endowed chairs at major universities including Stanford University and his alma mater, Tulane University. He is on the Board of Directors of a number of non-profit foundations including the Dalai Lama Foundation, of which he is chairman and the Charter for Compassion International of which he is vice-chair. He is also on the International Advisory Board of the Council for the Parliament of the World’s Religions.

He is the author of Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart

In This Interview, James R Doty and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
His book, Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart
The impact of compassionate acts on our brain, health and well-being
How early in his childhood he felt like a leaf being blown around by an ill wind
The four key lessons that, when learned, changed the trajectory of his life
The difference between you and your inner voice
That when you create the internal circumstances for reaching your goal, that allows for the possibility of the outward circumstances to align themselves for your own success
A scientific perspective on the connection between the brain and the heart and the rest of the body
The types of practices that can improve your vegal tone and why that matters
The important role that attachment early in life plays in the quality of health later in your life
The important role that connection with others plays in your health throughout your life
That being of service to others is what gives life meaning

James R Doty Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

129: John Prendergast

June 7, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 3 Comments

Podcast: Download

This week we talk to John Prendergast about tuning into our body

John J. Prendergast, PhD, is a psychotherapist, retired professor of psychology, spiritual teacher, and founder and editor-in-chief of Undivided: The Online Journal of Nonduality and Psychology.

He received his undergraduate degree from UC Santa Cruz and my M.A. and Ph.D. from the California Institute of Integral Studies. He is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

His latest book is called In Touch: How to Tune into the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself

In This Interview, John Prendergast and I Discuss:

The One You Feed parable
How important our body is
What “knowing” is
Learning to trust our deeper knowledge
The difference between inner knowing and hunches based on fear
Finding true knowing from ego desires
The static in our system
Observing thoughts as just thoughts
Learning to be more aware to the sensations and feelings in the body
Our brain- The Thought Factory
Scanning the body
Identifying with the world from our thinking, not our body

John Prendergast Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

128: Russell Simmons

May 31, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 3 Comments

Podcast: Download

This week we talk to Russell Simmons about being a giver

Russell Simmons is an American entrepreneur and author. He began his entrepreneurial career in his youth, but on the wrong side of the law, selling marijuana to make money while an active member of a local gang.

He then partnered with Rick Rubin to create Def Jam Records, and signed artists like the Beastie Boys, LL Cool J, Public Enemy and Run-D.M.C. He is also The Chairman and CEO of Rush Communications, he cofounded the hip-hop music label Def Jam Recordings and created the clothing fashion lines Phat Farm, Argyleculture, and Tantris.

He is also a vocal proponent of meditation and veganism.

His latest book is called The Happy Vegan: A Guide to Living a Long, Healthy, and Successful Life

In This Interview, Russell Simmons and I Discuss:

The One You Feed parable
How good givers are great getters
Giving before you get
Dissociating ourselves from the results of our labors
How success and fame don’t necessarily make us happy
Improving our health through veganism
Improving the health of the planet through veganism
Corporate greed
The horrors of factory farming
His experience with Occupy Wall Street
The corruption in politics
His daily yoga practice
Combining yoga, meditation, and veganism
Remaining useful and active as we age
How he meditates
Watching our thoughts and not being afraid of them
His two phases of meditation
How innovation comes from stillness
What led him to yoga
The lesson that has taken him the longest to learn
How he enjoys morning meditation more than late night drinking and drugs
Choosing cloudiness or clarity

Russell Simmons Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

125: Mary O’Malley

May 10, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 5 Comments

Podcast: Download

Learn more about the new coaching program. The window is open until 11:59 May 25th to sign up

This week we talk to Mary O’Malley about awakening to the world around us

Mary O’Malley is an author, teacher, and counselor whose work awakens others to the joy of being fully alive. Her inspired and transformative approach to compulsions offers a way to replace fear, hopelessness and struggle with ease, well-being and joy. Through her individual counseling and coaching, books, classes, retreats and ongoing groups, Mary invites people to experience the miracle of awakening.

Acknowledged as a leader in the field of Awakening by many Mary clearly sees both the big picture and the details of human patterns and conditioning. She possesses an extraordinary ability to understand and connect with people. And she is skilled in empowering people to work with difficult mind states resulting in greater inner awareness and presence and a greater capacity for joy. Eckhart Tolle says, “Thank you, Mary, for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness.”

Her latest book is called What’s In the Way, Is the Way: A Practical Guide to Awakening.

In This Interview, Mary O’Malley and I Discuss:

The One You Feed parable
The intertwining of good and bad, the yin and yang
Dealing with eating problems
How what we fight, we empower
Creating a relationship with the dark side
The impact of the early years of our lives
The conditioned self
How we are addicted to struggle
Being present to life instead of thinking our way through life
The “low-grade suffering” that permeates our lives
The storyteller in our minds
The Four Let’s- Let Life, Let it Be, Let it Go,
Learning to not listen so closely to the storyteller in our mind
The difference between being here for life and being in a conversation about life
The power of curiosity
The core spells that we tell ourselves
Look to Unhook
The power of human attention to heal
Sticking with these practices even when it seems to be going slow
Watching for tightness in yourself as a trigger to let go
Learning to be here for whatever life presents
The gift of our compulsions
Having a set of beliefs that empower us versus take our power away
Life is set up to bring up what is bound up so we can open up to be freed up so can show up for life
Not being the victim of life
Having the ability to come back to the heart

Mary O’Malley Links

124: Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer

May 4, 2016 By Eric Zimmer 5 Comments

Podcast: Download

This week we talk to Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer about mindful communication

Our guests this week are Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer.

Dan was a previous guest and we discussed his great book, 10% Happier. In addition, Dan is the current anchor on the weekend edition of Good Morning America as well as Nightline.

He has begun creating a series of courses based around 10% Happier. One of those courses features Oren Sofer.

Oren is a teacher and practitioner of Buddhist meditation, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Somatics. Oren is a specialist in the role of mindfulness in creating better conversation.

This conversation was recorded in Dan’s office in the ABC Studios in New York.

Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress

Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!

In This Interview, Oren Dan and I Discuss:

The One You Feed parable
Why mindfulness is useful in communication
The 10% Happier app
Learning to see confrontation as an opportunity to improve the relationship
How our cultural conditioning teaches us the Win/Lose paradigm
How we have a strong negative conditioning against confrontation that becomes hard-wired
How mindfulness allows us to slow down and monitor our emotional reactions in conversation
The role of curiosity in communication
How to become more curious
Learning to ask “What matters here” when listening to others
Learning to say that we don’t feel like talking instead of just pretending
The minor discomfort of being real
How to say things in a way that the other person can hear and understand
Learning to hold our tongue in certain situations
How being silent can lead to its own challenges
The importance of timing in choosing when to address issues
Context sensitive communication
The two criteria of good communication: does the other person understand and does it lead to connection

Dan Harris Links

10% Happier Homepage

Oren J Sofer Links