Featured Archives - The One You Feed

Julie Simon on Emotional Eating

September 18, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Julie Simon is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach and certified personal trainer with over 30 years of experience in helping overeaters and imbalanced eaters mend their relationship with their feelings and ultimately themselves. She’s also the founder of the popular Los Angels based 12-week emotional eating recovery program. She’s the author of the book When Food is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain and End Emotional Eating. In this interview, Julie teaches what’s at the root of emotional eating and the specific steps you can take to build the skills you need to regulate your emotions.

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In This Interview, Julie Simon and I Discuss…

Her book, When Food is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain and End Emotional Eating
That the most common cause of emotional overeating is difficulty regulating our emotions, moods, thoughts, and behaviors
Disconnecting from our emotions being at the root of emotional overeating
Relating to our feelings
Early interactions with our caregivers
Regulating Our Emotions = Our ability to manage our emotions and moods (and regulate our nervous system) so we can control or redirect impulses in our behaviors, thinking before we act
Attunement and Attachment
Self-medicating
Resourcefulness in regulating our brain chemistry
Missing self-care skills
Being stuck in an earlier phase of development
Inner indulging voice
The 7 skills involved in inner nurturing
Exploring our emotions and bodily sensations
Our tendency to move away from unpleasant emotions by focusing on our thoughts
Emotion presents in the body first (before we have words for them)
Real recovery is experiencing and moving through emotions
Soothing behaviors to restore ourselves to calm:
- Noticing breath
- Tense and relax parts of the body
- Getting in comfortable clothes
- Listening to soothing music
- Soothing gestures
- Laying down in the fetal position
The goal is not to distract yourself
The goal is to calm down enough to pop the hood
Telling ourselves that it’s ok to feel the way we feel
Validating the feeling not the behavior
Having compassion for oneself

Julie Simon Links

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Scott Edelstein on Finding a Spiritual Teacher

September 11, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Scott Edelstein is a student of and friend to many great spiritual teachers. A longtime practitioner of both the Buddhist and Jewish traditions, he is a proponent of serious spirituality in all forms and traditions. He’s a published author in many important spiritual journals and his newest book is called The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers. It is so important to have a discerning eye when it comes to choosing spiritual teachers in your life but what do you actually look for, what red flags do you recognize and what is their role in your life, specifically? These questions and more are discussed and answered in this informative, wise and practical conversation.

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In This Interview, Scott Edelstein and I Discuss…

His book, The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers
That fear is both good and bad
That spiritual teachers are human too
That enlightenment isn’t some threshold to be crossed
The nature of maturation
If we pay attention, as we grow older, we grow wiser
How if you live with a belief long enough, it seems pretty commonplace
The importance of not giving someone else your power
The danger of a spiritual teacher who wants something from you or wants to make decisions for you
The importance of using your own discernment when working with spiritual teachers
What to do if you feel you can’t trust yourself
Thinking of your spiritual teacher as a professor at a university
The borning nature of spiritual practice
Our addiction to control and the necessity of realizing we’re not in control
The ability to change
The willingness to change
The role of spiritual teachers and personal change

Scott Edelstein Links

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Brandi Lust on Growth via the Present Moment

September 4, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Brandi Lust is the founder of Learning Lab Consulting which is focused on mindful, creative growth both at the individual level as well as at the large group and corporate level. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters. In their conversation, they cover important and very real topics such as how to grow through suffering, being alive and present in the moment and operating from a state of flow. You may be familiar with these topics on some level, but regardless of your starting point, you’ll dive deeper into them through listening to this episode.

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In This Interview, Brandi Lust and I Discuss…

Her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters
Four myths we have as people
We are not rational creatures, we are emotional creatures
The way we interact with the moment
How if your metric is external, it’s never enough
The tools she uses to operate from a state of flow
How suffering has an important place on the spiritual path
That we hold past trauma in our bodies
Emotional Residue
Feeling it all in the moment so you don’t have to carry it around with you
That pain in life isn’t personal – it’s a natural part of the human experience
Post Traumatic Growth
Making meaning from our difficult experiences
Having a belief system of something larger than yourself
Can we grow without suffering?
Experiencing awe in the moment
Secondary Post Traumatic Growth through empathy and understanding
Psychological safety
Self-transcendence

Brandi Lust Links

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Chris Bailey on Focus, Productivity and Meditation

August 28, 2018 by Eric Zimmer 3 Comments

Chris Bailey ran a year-long productivity project where he studied and ran experiments on the subject. To date, he’s written hundreds of articles on the topic which have been published in places like the Huffington Post, The New York Times and LifeHacker. In this episode, Chris and Eric discuss his new book, Hyperfocus: How to Be More Productive in a World of Distraction and they cover many topics and techniques to improve your focus and productivity. In addition to being a lovely person, he is also a true expert on this topic and you’ll walk away with useful information, no matter how productive you are to begin with.

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In This Interview, Chris Bailey and I Discuss…

His new book, Hyperfocus: How to Be More Productive in a World of Distraction
That what we notice is what we become
The state of our attention determines the state of our lives
The hourly awareness chime
How our mind gravitates to things that are any of these three things: pleasurable, threatening or novel
The measures he uses to determine the quality of attention: how long we can hold our focus, how long our mind wanders, how much of our time we can spend with intention
How we feel when we use our time well
The pain of using time wastefully
The Rule of 3 (Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly)
Text Expander
The natural rhythm of our attention
Being kind to our mind
Our minds are built to wander
Approaching our wandering minds with curiosity
Keeping a distractions list
Scatter focus

Chris Bailey Links

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Terry Patten on Inner-work and Outer-work

August 21, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Terry Patten is an international speaker and consultant as a community organizer, philosopher, and teacher. He has founded multiple non-profits and social movements for causes that serve the greater good. In this episode, Terry and Eric discuss his new book which deals with the intersection of being all you can be (self-growth) and helping others (social activism). He argues that you can’t fulfill either without addressing both (and we tend to agree!). If you’d like to know more about different forms of activism, how you can be both focused on your inner-world AND the outer-world, and thinking in terms of both AND rather than either OR, then this episode is for you.

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In This Interview, Terry Patten and I Discuss…

His new book, A New Republic of the Heart: An Ethos for Revolutionaries–A Guide to Innerwork for Holistic Change
How the bad wolf is often a shapeshifter
Interrogating the good wolf to confirm identity!
Inner work and outer work
Self-focus preventing activism
Our moral obligation to engage in activism
Different forms of activism
In the system, against the system and around the system types of activism
Being all you can be and helping others – can’t fulfill either without addressing both
As a species, we’re both getting better and perched on a cliff of perilous danger
Your attention is like a flashlight beam and awareness is like sunlight flooding a room
Thinking in both and terms rather than either or terms
Can we get to 10% of the world’s population being at a higher level of awakening?
Going from a seeker to a practitioner
A seeker is grounded in lack, residing from a sense of what’s missing
A presence in wholeness, relaxing into our wholeness
Recognition relieving one of the momentum of lack
A surrender and trust of being that is the soul of sanity
Neurons that fire together, wire together reinforces the importance of practice
We’re always practicing something – what are you practicing right now?
We can always begin again now
Relational Practices
Expressing our inner-work through our outer-work

Terry Patten Links

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Jillian Pransky

August 14, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Jillian Pransky is a Certified Yoga Therapist, a teacher and an author of the new book, Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind and Open Your Heart. In this interview, Jillian dives deep into the topic of somatic listening; what it is, why it’s important, how to do it and the benefits you can expect. Restorative Yoga is an avenue for this type of work and it can be life changing to say the least. Do you experience tension in your body? Do you have unpleasant feelings? Do you feel exhausted? If your answer is yes or sometimes to any of these questions, you’ll want to hear what Jillian Pransky has to say in this episode.

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In This Interview, Jillian Pransky and I Discuss…

Her book, Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind and Open Your Heart
How she used to believe anxiety and depression was a choice
Learning to be with the bad wolf
Befriending her bad wolf
That not everything can be fixed
When surrender is needed
Not being able to fix some way someone has treated us
Restorative Yoga
Paying attention to our body and mind so that we’re aware of how we shut down and open up and to be with it with openness
Deep listening to yourself can leave you more hard and cutoff or open and tender
The tension in our body signifying the stress response
Paying attention long enough that it softens and shifts
Judging the tension we find in our bodies
Getting curious about the tension we find, breathing into it
Asking “How am I still guarding myself when I don’t have to be?” during Restorative Yoga
“Doing Less”
How the busier we are the less we have to feel
Listening is the act of allowing
Love is the act of allowing
Allowing yourself to be supported even when you’re active
That which is regular is way better than that which is a lot
A little bit all the time re-wires us
How exhausting it is to be somewhere we’re not
Our thoughts are like social media
Forward thinking and past thinking after present moment being
Letting go vs Letting be
Analogy of salt in water: shot glass vs mason jar
“The practice isn’t about learning how to stay here but learning how to come back.”

Jillian Pransky Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

Judson Brewer: Addiction and the Craving Mind

August 7, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Judson Brewer MD PhD is widely considered an expert in the areas of habit change, the “science of self-mastery” and mindfulness training for addiction. He has published a number of peer-reviewed articles and book chapters, he has trained US Olympic coaches, and his work has been featured on 60 Minutes, TEDMED, Time, Forbes, BBC, NPR, Businessweek and others. So – you get the idea…this guy knows what he’s talking about and what he’s talking about is fascinating. It’s a very different approach to ridding yourself of addiction and it works. it works much better than even currently accepted “gold standard programs” and it’s something you can learn how to do today. In fact, you can learn how to do it by listening to this episode.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Judson Brewer and I Discuss…

His book, The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love – Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits
Trigger, Behavior, Result
Rewards and Punishments
Habit Loop
Subjective Bias
Addiction: Continued use despite adverse consequences
Addiction: a way to avoid something
Every time we give in to a craving, we reinforce that habit loop
Cravings are like stray cats
If you don’t feed a craving it will burn itself out
Surfing a craving
The way cravings feel like they’re going to crush us and last forever – cognitive distortion
Craving Wave: come – crest – go away\
Awareness helps us surf these craving waves
What does this feel like in my body right now?
Paying attention to the craving rather than avoid it or make it go away
RAIN
This method had 5x quit rates than the gold standard smoking cessation program
Substitute behavior
In their quest for happiness, people mistake excitement of the mind for real happiness
Investigate the craving and the reward
Excitement brings contraction
Get curious about your experiences – it helps you remain open
Default mode network
Conceptual vs Experiential Self
The contraction of ego
How we relate to our thoughts and feelings makes all the difference

Judson Brewer Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

Josh Korda: Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion

July 31, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Josh Korda is the guiding teacher of Dharma Punx in NYC and a fully empowered Buddhist teacher in the Against the Stream lineage. He has led numerous online and residential retreats and is also widely known for his podcast and as an author. His new book is called Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth. In this conversation with Eric, he talks about how to make changes in your life and he bases much of what he has to say on this topic on his Buddhist principals and own life experience. It’s a comprehensive look at how we as humans can experience the impermanence of life. Since we all face this impermanence, it’s a pretty important thing to grow more skillful in the way we interact with it.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Josh Korda and I Discuss…

His book, Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth
How he deals with his depression
Western mindfulness practice
How it’s not about always accepting or settling for toxic circumstances
How it’s not about always running away from healthy yet difficult circumstances
The wisdom to know what to do with difficulty in the moment
How to make significant life changes (based on his experience doing just that)
Being willing to set boundaries
Making change by talking harshly oneself only creates stress and you then associate the stress with the goal itself and you begin to procrastinate
How our inner critic makes us want to avoid the very things we want to grow into
Thought arrives after feeling and impulses
Ways to change behavior without relying on thought
“Corrective emotional response”
The importance of an empathetic, safe therapist in effective therapy

Josh Korda Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

Anne Bogel on Seeing the World Through Personality

July 24, 2018 by Eric Zimmer 4 Comments

Anne Bogel is an author, podcast host, avid reader and personality assessment expert. That’s what you’ll see when you read her new book, How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything. In this interview, Eric and Anne cover a lot of ground; from book recommendations to the value and application of personality tests. If you are at all interested in personal growth, this episode will excite and inspire you to use valid personality tests as a tool to fuel that endeavor. If you’ve written off personality tests in the past, we encourage you to revisit the topic with an open mind as you listen to this episode. You may think differently 45 minutes from now.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

In This Interview, Anne Bogel and I Discuss…

Her book, Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything
Recent fiction books that she’s read that she loved
How we all have pain during the course of our lives
The joy of reading literary fiction
What is personality?
The coping strategies we learn vs fundamental personality changes
How our mind is inclined to work
The way we see things
Taking a personality test and answering questions based on how we want to be vs how we really are
That if you don’t know how you’re really like, you can’t move forward and grow as a person
Common thoughts, feelings and behavior = our personality type
Our character and our behavior are two things we can impact and change within ourselves with a lot of effort
Personality tests not being a limiting thing
Putting your strengths to work for you
Putting effort towards things we can change vs things we can’t change
I’m the kind of person who _____ being a powerful phrase
Fixed vs Growth mindset
Highly sensitive people
The emotional bank account
Introverts vs Extroverts
What you do consistently over time matters
the 5:1 ratio when it comes to positive and negative experiences
The Enneagram – https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Anne Bogel Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs

Culadasa on How the Mind Works Part 2

July 17, 2018 by Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Culadasa is a meditation master with over 4 decades of experience in the Tibetan and Theravadan Buddhist traditions. He taught classes in neuroscience and psychology at the Universities of Calgary and Brittish Columbia. He now lives in the Arizona wilderness and leads the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sanga. His book on meditation, The Mind Illuminated, is the book Eric calls the best book on meditation he’s ever read. This is a two-part interview. In this episode, part one, Eric and Culadasa talk about how the mind and brain works – knowledge that is essential to understand before one can successfully implement the meditation techniques that will be discussed in part two. These techniques have the very real potential of transforming your meditation experience. So listen up in this episode and get ready to radically re-understand this thing we call the mind.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Culadasa and I Discuss…

His book, The Mind Illuminated
The power of setting an intention for meditation
Getting all of the mind on board for meditating
Accepting whatever comes up
Trying to enjoy your meditation, celebrating the times you come back to the present moment vs scolding yourself
Roadmap of the stages of meditation over time
How knowing the developmental nature of things over time can be problematic
The difficulties of being a beginner at anything
Looking for the pleasure and joy in wherever you are
The 4 step process of settling in to meditate
Feeling your breath at the nose
The Mindful Review
Being aware of the motivation behind your thoughts and speech
What could I have done differently?

Culadasa Links

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs