Featured Archives - The One You Feed

Ruth King on Healing Racism

November 6, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Ruth King is an emotional wisdom author, coach, and consultant. She’s a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Community of Washington and she’s on the teacher’s council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. In addition, she’s the founder of Mindful Members Insight Meditation Community in Charlotte, NC. She has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the author of several publications including her new book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out. In this stirring, thoughtful and wise conversation, she touches on the heart of racism and teaches how we can move to heal this heart disease.

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In This Interview, Ruth King and I Discuss…

Her book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism From The Inside Out
The value of being curious about the good and bad wolves inside of us
Racism being a heart disease that is curable
Her open heart surgery at the age of 27
Rage being an exit route
Rage being energy moving through the body
Habitual patterns of racism being a layer on top of the real issue that we can’t tolerate – they are defense mechanisms
Racial affinity groups
6 hindrances
The structure of racism
Racism vs Prejudice
Racist vs Racism
Understanding our own experience with racism and talking about it
What it’s like to be “membered”
Individual vs group identity
Diversity within the body of color

Ruth King Links

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James Clear on the Compounding Power of Habits Part 2

October 30, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Chances are, you’ve heard the name James Clear. Especially if you have done any research whatsoever about building habits. That’s kinda his neck of the woods. His work has appeared in The New York Times, CBS This Morning, Time, Entrepreneur and he has taught in colleges around the world. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part series, he talks more about his new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. You’ll learn some really specific, easy and flat out “why didn’t I think of that” genius methods to apply to your life and habits.

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In This Interview, James Clear and I Discuss…

His book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
Habits are a response to the physical cues in our environment
Increasing the friction it takes to complete the task
The more you increase the steps between you and the bad behavior or decrease the steps between you and the good behavior the better
Habit stacking/Anchoring
“After _____ I will _____”
The more specific the better
Social environment and habits
You want to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior
Make it easy
The two-minute rule
A habit must be established before it can be improved
Optimize for the starting line rather than the finish line
Make it satisfying
Feel successful at the end
Bring the long-term consequences into the short term

James Clear Links

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James Clear on the Compounding Nature of Habits Part 1

October 23, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Chances are, you’ve heard the name James Clear. Especially if you have done any research whatsoever about building habits. That’s kinda his neck of the woods. His work has appeared in The New York Times, CBS This Morning, Time, Entrepreneur and he has taught in colleges around the world. In this episode, part 1 of a 2 part series, he talks about his new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. It’s a fascinating and educational discussion surrounding how to work with yourself and your habits to set yourself up for short and long-term success when it comes to behavior change. Everyone can benefit from listening to the wisdom in this episode. Enjoy.

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In This Interview, James Clear and I Discuss…

His book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
How habits can compound for you or against you
That small changes don’t seem to matter much in the moment
The 4 Laws of Behavior Change
Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your efforts
How bamboo is like habits
You need to build a foundation to see results
How work isn’t wasted, it’s stored
Focusing on systems rather than goals
How the outcome is a natural consequence of habits
That goals restrict your happiness
The role of identity in behavior change
How you choose to act is a vote towards the kind of person you want to be
Putting your identity on the back burner while you accrue some evidence
Growth vs Fixed Mindset
How humans are learning machines
The 4 Stages of Habits
How you interpret the cues in your life determines how you respond to them
The toolbox for breaking and building habits

James Clear Links

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Re-Release: Dr. Gabor Mate on Addiction

October 16, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

This week we talk to Dr. Gabor Mate´about addiction

A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development.

For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site.

As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages.

Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focusses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner.

Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; and the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University.

In This Interview, Dr. Gabor Mate´and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
The degree of choice we have in life
What is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts?
What is addiction?
The characteristics of addiction
Recognizing what addicts get out of their addiction
The fundamental question is not “Why the Addiction” but “Why the Pain”
How all addiction comes out of some hurt or trauma
The different types of trauma
The role of neurotransmitters in addiction
How drugs and alcohol destroy the parts of the brain that allow us to make sound decisions
Whether or not genetics play a significant role in addiction
Whether our culture breeds addiction
How our children get most of their leadership from other children
How the breakup of family, community and clan is contributing to addiction
The critical role of the culture in our the development of our brains
Recognizing our inherent value
To what degree we have freedom over our choices
Without consciousness, there is no freedom
Paths to recovery
How compassion can help with recovery
Developing compassionate curiosity towards ourselves

Dr. Gabor Mate´ Links

TED Talk

Re-Release: Tara Brach

October 9, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

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This week we talk to Tara Brach

Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. She is a guiding teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C Brach also teaches Buddhist meditation at centers for meditation and yoga in the United States and Europe including Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California, the Kripalu Center,and the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.

Brach is an engaged Buddhist specializing in the application of Buddhist teachings to emotional healing. Her 2003 book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, focuses on the use of practices such as mindfulness for healing trauma. Her 2013 book, True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart, offers practices for tapping into inner peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.

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In This Interview, Tara Brach and I Discuss…

The One You Feed parable
Being kind to the parts of ourselves that are more primitive
The difference between feelings and thoughts
Dropping the storyline
The question of “What am I unwilling to feel?”
How we have to go through the difficult emotions to get to peace
The importance of remembering the good
Not being addicted to suffering
The habit of looking for what’s wrong
What’s the moment like if there is no problem
How we tend to always anticipate a problem
How we are almost always lost in thought
Practicing coming into our senses
Self-compassion as the most important quality on the spiritual path
Only being taught one type of meditation
Trying different types of meditation until we find the one that works best for us
The quality that helps people progress on the path of meditation: intention
How to deal with numbness
Tara’s tips on dealing with depression
How depression hates a moving target
That depression is not our fault
Finding refuge in difficult times
Instead of asking “What’s the Meaning” asking “What matters to me here”

Tara Brach Links

Dorothy Hunt on The Heart of Awareness

October 2, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Dorothy Hunt serves as the spiritual director of the Moon Mountain Sangha, teaching the spiritual lineage of Adyshanti. She is also the founder of the San Francisco Center for Meditation and Psychotherapy where she has practiced since 1967. She has several published works, the most recent being her book, Ending the Search: From Spiritual Ambition to the Heart of Awareness. We think you’ll find her teachings profound, liberating and refreshing. In this episode, she and Eric discuss what it means and looks like to awaken to our true reality. She dropped some truth bombs on us and if you listen to the conversation, we think they’ll land on you as well.

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In This Interview, Dorothy Hunt and I Discuss…

Her book, Ending the Search: From Spiritual Ambition to the Heart of Awareness
How we carry the seeds of everything within us – which do we water with our attention?
That everything is an “inside job”
Her focus of awakening to our true reality
What spiritual ambition means
The role of self-inquiry in awakening to who/what we really are
A unified reality
Desire, effort, and grace
Intensity taking the place for ambition
Staying put in the not knowing
Staying put in the silence
Expansion and contraction in life
The error of thinking that our spirituality has to look a certain way
Alternatives to silence as your soul food
Asking ourselves the question: What is the deepest desire of my heart?
Asking the follow-up question: And what will that bring? to get to the deepest desire
Following your own inner teacher, your inner guidance
That happiness is temporarily stopping wanting to be somewhere else
That Adyashanti gave her nothing
The sword that cuts through illusion
When truth is moving it’s not asking permission
When we want the truth more than we want life to look a certain way we find it

Dorothy Hunt Links

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Miguel Chen on Punk Rock and Buddhism

September 25, 2018 By Eric Zimmer 2 Comments

Miguel Chen is a meditation practitioner, a yoga instructor, a yoga studio owner and the bass player for a punk rock band. He has also published a book called I Wanna Be Well: How a Punk Found Peace and You Can Too. In this compelling episode, Eric and Miguel explore the connection between punk rock and Buddhism and they dive into the experiences in his life – both traumatic and positive – that have shaped his spiritual path of awakening.

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In This Interview, Miguel Chen and I Discuss…

His book, I Wanna Be Well: How a Punk Found Peace and You Can Too
How he owns a yoga studio and plays in a punk rock band
The way he suppressed grief for dead family members
Asking himself why he wasn’t happy
The connection between punk rock and Buddhism
The other as self
Forgetting who we are
The importance of being mindful throughout life
Not being present with stuff we like
Not being present with stuff we don’t like
Eating mindfully
How if you’re used to disconnecting from things you don’t like, it starts creeping into the things you do like
How he stays in the present moment
Training the mind
His morning routine
Non-attachment
Being criticized for his spiritual practice
His spiritual practice while on tour
The danger of taking people in life for granted
How grateful he is that he woke up early in his life
Why some people get motivated to get sober and others don’t

Miguel Chen Links

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Julie Simon on Emotional Eating

September 18, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Julie Simon is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach and certified personal trainer with over 30 years of experience in helping overeaters and imbalanced eaters mend their relationship with their feelings and ultimately themselves. She’s also the founder of the popular Los Angels based 12-week emotional eating recovery program. She’s the author of the book When Food is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain and End Emotional Eating. In this interview, Julie teaches what’s at the root of emotional eating and the specific steps you can take to build the skills you need to regulate your emotions.

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In This Interview, Julie Simon and I Discuss…

Her book, When Food is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain and End Emotional Eating
That the most common cause of emotional overeating is difficulty regulating our emotions, moods, thoughts, and behaviors
Disconnecting from our emotions being at the root of emotional overeating
Relating to our feelings
Early interactions with our caregivers
Regulating Our Emotions = Our ability to manage our emotions and moods (and regulate our nervous system) so we can control or redirect impulses in our behaviors, thinking before we act
Attunement and Attachment
Self-medicating
Resourcefulness in regulating our brain chemistry
Missing self-care skills
Being stuck in an earlier phase of development
Inner indulging voice
The 7 skills involved in inner nurturing
Exploring our emotions and bodily sensations
Our tendency to move away from unpleasant emotions by focusing on our thoughts
Emotion presents in the body first (before we have words for them)
Real recovery is experiencing and moving through emotions
Soothing behaviors to restore ourselves to calm:
- Noticing breath
- Tense and relax parts of the body
- Getting in comfortable clothes
- Listening to soothing music
- Soothing gestures
- Laying down in the fetal position
The goal is not to distract yourself
The goal is to calm down enough to pop the hood
Telling ourselves that it’s ok to feel the way we feel
Validating the feeling not the behavior
Having compassion for oneself

Julie Simon Links

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Scott Edelstein on Finding a Spiritual Teacher

September 11, 2018 By Eric Zimmer Leave a Comment

Scott Edelstein is a student of and friend to many great spiritual teachers. A longtime practitioner of both the Buddhist and Jewish traditions, he is a proponent of serious spirituality in all forms and traditions. He’s a published author in many important spiritual journals and his newest book is called The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers. It is so important to have a discerning eye when it comes to choosing spiritual teachers in your life but what do you actually look for, what red flags do you recognize and what is their role in your life, specifically? These questions and more are discussed and answered in this informative, wise and practical conversation.

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In This Interview, Scott Edelstein and I Discuss…

His book, The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers
That fear is both good and bad
That spiritual teachers are human too
That enlightenment isn’t some threshold to be crossed
The nature of maturation
If we pay attention, as we grow older, we grow wiser
How if you live with a belief long enough, it seems pretty commonplace
The importance of not giving someone else your power
The danger of a spiritual teacher who wants something from you or wants to make decisions for you
The importance of using your own discernment when working with spiritual teachers
What to do if you feel you can’t trust yourself
Thinking of your spiritual teacher as a professor at a university
The borning nature of spiritual practice
Our addiction to control and the necessity of realizing we’re not in control
The ability to change
The willingness to change
The role of spiritual teachers and personal change

Scott Edelstein Links