The One You Feed

Practical Wisdom for a Better Life

Anxiety & Depression

A collection of The One You Feed episodes that discuss handling anxiety and depression.

234: Johan Hari – Lost Connections

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Johann Hari is an author and a journalist. His previous book was a New York Times Best Seller and his newest, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions, is no doubt on its way to share the same status. It proposes a more holistic, societal look at the causes and treatment of depression – more than the singular chemical imbalance explanation we traditionally consider. The core principal of getting our needs met is a thread that runs throughout this discussion and the deep dive that Johann Hari does on the subject will fascinate you and cause you to stop and think very differently than you have before on this topic that affects so many people in this world.

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In This Interview, Johann Hari and I Discuss…

  • His new book, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions
  • The two kinds of human connection
  • Intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external) motivations
  • “Junk” values
  • The more you’re driven by extrinsic values, the more likely you’ll suffer from anxiety and depression in your life
  • Our society drives us to live in this extrinsic way
  • The whole point of advertising is to make us feel inadequate and our problems can be solved by buying
  • Extrinsic motives can crowd out the more fulfilling intrinsic motives
  • The 9 causes of depression and anxiety
  • The need to look more holistically at anxiety and depression than just a chemical imbalance
  • That the book is NOT saying not to take medications that help with anxiety and depression
  • The loneliest culture that has ever been
  • The importance of addressing the deep environmental factors/reasons why we’re so depressed and anxious
  • Our sense of home and sense of belonging
  • The problems manifested by being isolated and alone
  • The benefit of being part of a “tribe”
  • Realizing that you’re not the only one who struggles and feels the way you do
  • Grief and the diagnosis of depression
  • Just having a chemical imbalance means your pain doesn’t have meaning
  • Depression and not having your needs met
  • Following the pain to its source
  • Pathologizing Depression

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187: Matthew Quick

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This week we talk to Matthew Quick

Matthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; The Good Luck of Right Now; Love May Fail; The Reason You Are Alive; and four young adult novels: Sorta Like a Rock Star; Boy21; Forgive Me Leonard Peacock; and Every Exquisite Thing. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. All of his books have been optioned for film.

In This Interview, Matthew Quick and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His new book, The Reason You’re Alive
  • ICATS – what it means and why limiting it in your life is helpful to anxiety
  • How public speaking causes him to have anxiety
  • His calming practices to manage his anxiety
  • Why dismissing whole groups of people is a mistake
  • The importance and benefit of meeting people who are different than you
  • Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comforted
  • Generational tendencies in worldviews
  • The damage that’s done when we shame others about their thoughts
  • The relationship between anger and fear
  • How silencing people is un-American and frustrating
  • The transparency of the main character in his new book
  • Humor is experiencing the unexpected
  • Laughing and Crying give relief to tension
  • The major life changes he has made over the past 3 years and their impact
  • Believing he couldn’t function without alcohol and Rxs
  • The long-term benefit of passing on some forms of short term relief
  • The power of the past to continue to live on
  • Every experience leaves an impact on you and affects the rest of your life
  • The power of focusing on process and not result

Matthew Quick Links

094: Kevin Breel

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This week we talk to Kevin Breel about depression

Kevin Breel is a 21-year-old writer, comedian, and activist for mental health. His work has been featured by NBC, CBS, The Huffington Post, MTV, CNN, The Today Show, Mashable and The Wall Street Journal.  His passionate TEDx talk entitled “Confessions of a Depressed Comic” went instantly viral online- amassing millions of viewers and being featured on more than 200+ media outlets. Mashable called it “one of the moments that brought the world together” and the Huffington Post said the talk was “simply amazing.”

As a comedian, he’s performed in venues all across the globe; including the House of Blues, Rogers Arena and the historic Colosseum.  As a mental health activist, he’s a National Spokesperson for the Bell LET’S TALK Campaign and has been a guest speaker at Ivy League schools and billion dollar companies.

His first book, available now, is called Boy Meets Depression: Or Life Sucks and Then You Live

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 In This Interview Kevin and I Discuss…

  • Still wrestling with depression
  • His viral Ted talk
  • Learning to build the skill set to handle depression
  • Defining our emotional landscape
  • The benefits of waking up early
  • The power and stabilizing force of a routine
  • The importance of honest conversations with others
  • Taking care of the physical body to help with depression
  • Learning to recognize when were taking a turn for the worse and knowing how to respond
  • Turning to our positive habits not only when things are good but when things start to go bad
  • Resisting the urge to hide or isolate when things go bad
  • The stigma of depression
  • That in order to do well we don’t have to ignore what’s wrong
  • The ridiculous expectations we put on ourselves regarding happiness
  • Allowing ourselves to have a human experience
  • How we are all on a spectrum of mental health
  • Not basing our identity on our mental health
  • How the less we talk about things the more alone we get
  • Running into our pain and sharing it versus running away

Kevin Breel Links

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055: Therese Borchard

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This week we talk to Therese Borchard about handling depression.

Therese Borchard is the author of Beyond Blue and The Pocket Therapist. She blogs for Everyday Health and is an Associate Editor and a regular contributor to Psych Central. She writes about her own struggles with depression.

 In This Interview Therese and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Battling treatment resistant depression.
  • Turning struggle into service.
  • Her long battles with depression.
  • Treating depression holistically.
  • Combining traditional medicine with alternative medicine.
  • How positive thinking is of no use during extreme depression.
  • How there are no easy answers to depression.
  • Not having important conversations when we are hungry, angry, lonely and tired.
  • How it is possible to be depressed and grateful at the same time.
  • How diet is important but is not enough to solve depression.
  • How there is rarely a simple fix for depression.
  • How tiring faking that we are happy can be.
  • The importance of connecting with others who share the same challenges.
  • Why there are not more depression support groups?
  • The difference between mental health and 12 step culture.
  • Learning to accept our limitations.

Therese Borchard Links

Therese Borchard Blog

Therese Borchard on Pysch Central

Therese Borchard on Twitter

Therese Borchard on Facebook

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Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

044: Jonathan Rottenberg

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This week we talk to Jonathan Rottenberg

Jonathan Rottenberg is a leading researcher in the area of emotion and psychopathology, where he has focused on major depression. He is author of the  book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic. The book is a new look at depression. Depression is discussed as an evolutionary adaptation that has gone wrong in our current culture. Depression is not thought of as a deficiency, or a lack of something. Instead he looks at depression through the lens of mood.

He edited Emotion and Psychopathology: Bridging Affective and Clinical Science, published by the American Psychological Association. Since receiving his PhD degree from Stanford University, he has been at the University of South Florida, where he is an Associate Professor of Psychology and Director of the Mood and Emotion Laboratory. His work has been generously funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health and he has authored over 35 scientific publications, including many in the top journals in psychology and psychiatry. His work has received national and international media coverage, reported in outlets such as Science News, Scientific American, and the The New York Times.

 In This Interview Jonathan and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Depression as an evolutionary adaptation.
  • Mood theory versus the defect theory of depression.
  • That in our society incidence of depression is growing.
  • The evidence for an evolutionary view of depression.
  • How the purpose of depression is to help us disengage from activities that are not fruitful.
  • How the defect theory of depression has no way to account for the growth of depression.
  • How key human tendencies such as language and goal setting can exacerbate depression.
  • The human tendency to make meaning out of everything and the role this can play in depression.
  • The role of rumination in depression.
  • Persistence of low mood is a key indicator in long term depression.
  • His personal battle with depression.
  • The three things that seed low mood: Events, Temperaments and Routines.
  • The emotional set point theory.
  • How living in a culture so obsessed with happiness is partially responsible for the epidemic of depression.
  • Social media and the role it plays in depression.
  • The inability to tolerate a little bit of depression can create a crisis where someone comes to question the whole path of their life.
  • The goal of evolution is survival, not happinesss.
  • Using medicine for depression as a step on the path.
  • Having higher standards for depression sufferers.
  • Using depression as a bridge to a better life.
  • Three useful approaches to depression: meditation, cognitive therapy and acceptance.
  • How these approaches all turn down the volume on the meaning making machine.
  • Emotional context insensitivity.
  • Depressed people react less to negative stimulus than non-depressed people.
  • Anger can be a useful tool in getting out of depression.
  • Depression can be caused by over attachment to goals, not under attachment.

Jonathan Rottenberg Links

Jonathan Rottenberg Home Page

Buy The Depths on Amazon

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Jonathan Rotttenberg on Twitter

Jonathan Rottenberg on Facebook

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Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

025: Andrew Solomon

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This week on The One You Feed we have Andrew Solomon.

Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology.

Solomon’s newest book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, published on November 13, 2012, won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction among many other awards. The New York Times hailed the book, writing, “It’s a book everyone should read… there’s no one who wouldn’t be a more imaginative and understanding parent — or human being — for having done so… a wise and beautiful book.”  People described it as “a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity.”

Solomon’s previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times of London‘s list of one hundred best books of the decade. A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions, The Noonday Demon has also been a bestseller in seven foreign countries, and has been published in twenty-four languages.  The New York Times described it as “All-encompassing, brave, deeply humane… a book of remarkable depth, breadth and vitality… open-minded, critically informed and poetic all at the same time… fearless, and full of compassion.”

In addition he recently conducted an exclusive interview with Peter Lanza, father of Adam Lanza, perpetrator of the Sandy Hook School shooting. It was published in The New Yorker and received an enermous amount of media coverage.

 In This Interview Andrew and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Using work to make the world a better place.
  • The urgent business of living a moral life.
  • How to decide what we should change and what we should accept.
  • How hope can become the cornerstone of misery.
  • The challenges and joys of parenting disabled children.
  • The perfectionism of privilege.
  • The importance of the choice to celebrate what is versus wishing it to be different.
  • How we can grow through difficult circumstances.
  • The poison of comparison.
  • The idea of the “psychological supermodel”.
  • Layering feelings of failure onto depression and how damaging that is.
  • Learning to celebrate our difficulties and differences.
  • A beautiful and hopeful reading on depression.
  • How critical humor is in dealing with depression
  • New approaches to treating depression.
  • His ongoing challenges with depression and anxiety.
  • The shame of mental illness.
  • If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes.
  • A life that is only luxury and pleasure tends to feel rather hollow and empty.
  • How sparing our children from all adversity is a bad idea.
  • The choices we face.
  • How encounters with darkness give us the energy to feed our good wolf.

Andrew Solomon Links

Andrew Solomon Homepage

Andrew Solomon Amazon Author Page

Andrew Solomon on Twitter

Andrew Solomon on Facebook

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Some of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Rich Roll

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde