The One You Feed

A podcast about feeding your good wolf

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203: Eric Maisel: Rethinking Mental Health

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Eric Maisel - Full- The One You Feed

Dr. Eric Maisel is a prolific writer, to say the least. His numerous publications span the human experience and explore how to interact with the various situations that one may encounter.  In this interview, he discusses a couple of his books and spends a great deal of time explaining how he thinks depression should be treated vs how it is currently being diagnosed and treated. It’s a different way of thinking about this subject and if it’s a topic you’re interested in, you owe yourself a listen.

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This week we talk to Eric Maisel

Eric Maisel, Ph.D., is is the author of more than 40 books. His titles include, Why Smart People Hurt, Making Your Creative Mark,  The Van Gogh Blues,  Mastering Creative Anxiety, and Creativity for Life

In addition, Dr. Maisel is at the forefront of the movement to rethink mental health. He writes the Rethinking Psychology blog for Psychology Today and among his books in this area are Rethinking Depression and The Future of Mental Health.

His latest book is called Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation.

 

 In This Interview, Eric Maisel and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His book, Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation
  • His book, The Future of Mental Health
  • The smartness to understand what’s going on with your family
  • The strength to make the changes that you need to make
  • The strength to be calm, or have a difficult conversation
  • Having clarity about what’s going on
  • Awareness of the situation
  • The courage to make change because change has consequences
  • The skill of presence
  • Being resilient – family members, especially siblings, don’t go away like other relationships
  • Visualizing the “calmness switch” within you
  • The importance of learning one anxiety management tool because you will have anxiety in life
  • How you name the problem often directs you to the situation
  • The importance of language
  • The importance of knowing the causes of things regarding your health
  • Living intentionally, identifying your life purposes and making meaning in your life
  • How thinking that all we are is matter, chemicals etc can lead people to feel less excited about living
  • Each person has to make the decision to opt to matter, to decide that you matter and that your decisions matter
  • The cultural trance of tv
  • www.madinamerica.com
  • Stigmatization of mental health
  • The three parts of personality: Original Personality, Formed Personality, Available Personality

Eric Maisel Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

189: Eric Barker

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Eric Barker- Full - The One You Feed

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This week we talk to Eric Barker

Eric is a thought leader in the field of success. His humorous but practical blog, Barking up the Wrong Tree, presents science-based answers and expert insight on success in life. Over 270,000 people subscribe to his weekly email update and his content is syndicated by Time, The Week, and Business Insider. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and he was a columnist for Wired. With a writing career spanning over twenty years, Eric is also a sought-after speaker and interview subject and has been invited to speak at MIT, West Point, NPR affiliates, and on morning television.

His first book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong is available now.

In This Interview, Eric Barker and I Discuss…

  • His book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong
  • How he defines success
  • Achievement, Happiness, Significance, Legacy
  • The dangers of only using one metric for happiness
  • How money is a lever to something else that makes you happy rather than the thing that makes you happy in and of itself
  • There’s no finish line in the quest of what makes me feel good
  • We must decide what is “enough”
  • New and novel make our brains happy
  • We must decide what really is going to make us happy in the long run
  • Turning what we do in our lives into games can be helpful in increasing our persistence and grit
  • Games have these attributes: Winnable, Novelty, Goals, Instantaneous Feedback
  • A feeling of progress and meaningful work keeps us engaged
  • Challenging yourself in a familiar task
  • True burnout is when you start to feel pessimistic about your job so you withdraw and then you get poor feedback so you finally disengage
  • Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose
  • A change is as good as a rest
  • That we are telling ourselves stories about what’s has meaning and what doesn’t
  • How telling your children about their lineage will increase the likelihood they stay away from drugs, stay in school etc
  • Therapy as editing the story we’re telling about our lives
  • Cognitive reappraisal
  • The role of positive self-talk
  • I can do it vs I can’t take this anymore
  • If you break your arm you wouldn’t say “I am broken” you’d say “My arm is broken”
  • Listening to our thoughts from a distance and asking “is this useful?” to be more mindful about what thoughts we identify with
  • We don’t choose what makes us happy, we choose what’s easy
  • The role of a plan
  • How anticipation is happiness

Eric Barker Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

148: Eric Kaufmann

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Eric Kaufmann- The One You Feed

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This week we talk to Eric Kaufmann about leadership

Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders, including executives and teams at Sony, T-Mobile, Genentech, Alcon Labs, and Teradata. He is the founder and president of Sagatica, Inc. and serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center.

His new book is called the Four Virtues of a Leader and shares practical ideas and tools that deepen a leader’s ability to be efficient, effective and deliberate.

 In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable
  • His new book, The Four Virtues of a Leader
  • How leadership is like The Hero’s Journey
  • How he used the spiritual bypass
  • His definition of leadership
  • Leadership in day to day life
  • His four questions surrounding leadership
  • The three hurdles we have to overcome to be effective
  • His definition of courage
  • Ways you can build courage
  • The important difference between fear and anxiety
  • The lifelong process of discipline
  • The three gems of Buddhism
  • Procrastination
  • How spiritual surrender plays into leadership

Eric Kaufmann Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feedThe Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

Bonus Episode- Eric Interviewed on Life on Purpose

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The One You Feed

Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until August 20th

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This is a bonus episode of Eric being interviewed by Greg Berg on his excellent Life on Purpose podcast

From Greg’s show notes:

What is a life worth living? How do change your behavior and establish lasting habits? Which wolf do you feed?

For Life on Purpose Episode #35, my guest is podcast host/producer Eric Zimmer from The One You Feed, which was named one of the Best Health Podcasts of All Time by The Huffington Post.

Eric has spent the past two years asking these questions of thought leaders, scientists, and teachers such as Simon Sinek, Byron Katie, don Miguel Ruiz, Sharon Salzberg, Bob Proctor, BJ Fogg, Dan Millman, and many more.

Eric joins me for a great, in-depth conversation about his own life journey (being addicted to drugs and homeless 20 years ago), what he’s learned doing the show, tools and tips for self-awareness and behavior change, and much more!

 

The Tale of Two Wolves

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

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Eric’s Bookshelf

Looking for a good read? Here’s a list of categorized books that are personal favorites of Eric, host of the show. You can’t go wrong with any of these books.*

Fiction

Business/Productivity

General Spirituality

Buddhism

Memoirs

Miscellaneous

*In the Spirit of Full Disclosure: The links for the above-listed books are Amazon affiliate links & we’ll be compensated if you buy stuff from Amazon using those links. You pay no more and the show gets a few pennies.

That said, your trust means everything to us and we would never recommend anything lightly – these are all books that have had a profound impact on Eric during the course of his life.

Who We Are

The One You Feed

The One You Feed is created and produced by Eric Zimmer and Chris Forbes.

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We have been friends for over 25 years. For some reason that neither of us remembers we affectionately refer to each other as Horse, although it’s often something more like Horse Face or Horse Balls.

We don’t share too many of our specific life circumstances on here because if history is any judge one of us will screw them up in the not too distant future and it’ll all change.

Chris is the tall and handsome one and Eric is the smart and…..oh wait…..maybe Chris is the tall and smart one and Eric is the handsome and……oh never mind. Between the two of us, we have most characteristics you’d actually want in ONE person. And maybe enough bad characteristics for three people.

We started the show for a few different reasons. As we both got older we started seeing less of each other and the show seemed like a great way to rectify that problem. In addition, we are both prone to being sad sacks so we figured we needed the content of the show as much or more than any listeners. The other reason is that Eric gets easily bored and this was simply the most recent of his half-baked ideas that actually got some traction.

Among many highlights of the show for us was having Mike Scott of the Waterboys on the show.  We have both been big fans since before we met each other and it is something we often enjoy together. We used to grab a guitar, play and sing the song Fisherman’s Blues, in a hallway a long time ago. We did it literally hundreds of times with a rotating cast of characters and misfits joining in. We recently got to see the Waterboys on their US tour and in addition to an amazing concert we were grateful to be able to go backstage and see the band after the show.

All of the music you hear on the show is written, produced and recorded by the two of us.

We are extremely grateful for those of you who listen and enjoy the show. Please say hi anytime. We’d love to talk with you.

Contact Eric- [email protected]

Contact Chris- [email protected]

Note: For requests to be a guest on this show, please do not use these emails. Please send an email to [email protected] Due to the number of guest requests sent we are unable to respond to them all. Thank so much for your interest! If you use the emails above we will disregard the request. Thanks.

More about Eric Zimmer

I am a dad, serial entrepreneur, podcast host, behavior coach and author. I’m endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intentionally create the lives we want to live.

At the age of 24, I was homeless, addicted to heroin and facing long jail sentences. In the years since I have found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for myself.

I currently host this award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, which is based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. With over 200 episodes and more than 10 million downloads, the show features conversations with experts across many fields of study about how to create a life worth living.

These experts include scientists, authors, researchers, teachers, thought leaders, spiritual gurus and public figures and all offer practical, actionable wisdom that our listeners can readily apply to their lives in order to act their way into a better, more fulfilling life.

In addition to producing the show, I work as a behavior coach and have done so for the past 20 years. During that time, I have coached hundreds of people from around the world on how to successfully and sustainably make the changes in their lives that they want to make.

My story and my work have been featured in the media including TedX, Mind Body Green, Elephant Journal, The Guardian and Brain Pickings.

 

Some other pictures of us

Between us we own 4 of the 6 dogs in this picture + another not shown

Between us we own 4 of the 6 dogs in this picture + another not shown

Chris and Eric 2

 

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100: Eric and Chris Get Interviewed for 100th Episode

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eric and chris

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This week Eric and Chris get interviewed

It has been 100 episodes of The One You Feed and as a way to mark the occasion we asked our friend Greg from the Life on Purpose podcast to interview Chris and I together. We talk about why we started the show, what it’s like making it and what we’ve learned from it. We also feature a song that each of us has written.

Thanks to each and every one of you for listening to the show.

You can hear the full version of Chris’ song My Body Betrays Me here

You can hear the full version of Eric’s song Grass is Greener here

Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.

spirituality and health magazine

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The One You Feed LLC
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Effective as of September 24, 2018

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen on Social Anxiety

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https://www.oneyoufeed.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/ellen-hendriksen-Full.jpg

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves through her award-winning podcast, The Savvy Psychologist, and in the clinic at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her debut book is, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. If you suffer from social anxiety, you will learn a lot of practical tools to use to help you overcome it and suffer less.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen and I Discuss…

  • Her book, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
  • The positive qualities that often accompany social anxiety in a person
  • That the opposite of social anxiety is actually psychopathy
  • The neuroscience of social anxiety
  • How if you face your fears you can change your brain
  • The problematic nature of avoidance when it comes to social anxiety 
  • Overt avoidance
  • Covert avoidance
  • Thinking that the worst case scenario is a foregone conclusion
  • Avoidance means we never see what actually happens
  • The inner critic
  • The buckets that the Inner Critic likes to attack: Appearance, the Signs of Anxiety Themselves, Social Skills, One’s Entire Personality
  • Social Anxiety Mad Libs: When I ______, it will become obvious that I _______
  • The tool, Replace
  • Anxiety is vague – ask, what particular thing are you afraid of?
  • 4 Magic Questions: What’s the worst that can happen? How bad is that? What are the odds that the worst case scenario will actually happen? How will I cope?/What will I do?
  • The tool, Embrace
  • The role of mindfulness in anxiety
  • Making your inner world a kinder, more hospitable environment
  • Self-compassion
  • Creating structure in our social situations – giving yourself a mission to fulfill, a purpose, a goal

Dr. Ellen Hendrisken Links:

ellenhendriksen.com

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