The One You Feed

Practical Wisdom for a Better Life

meditation

Adyashanti-Living in the Service of Truth – Part 2

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Adyashanti is an American born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Adyashanti also runs the Omega retreat which Eric has taken part in many times. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part interview, Eric and Adya continue their conversation about his latest book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life.

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In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

  • How his relationship to his wife has become more of a mystery over their 23 years together
  • The role of play and being silly
  • How our spiritual striving can get in the way – in meditation, specifically
  • Meditation is the relinquishing of an agenda
  • How we engage with the mystery of being.
  • The curiosity that was sparked when he realized he was a mystery unto himself
  • Spirituality is an experiential encounter with the unknown
  • The paradox we’re embracing with meditation
  • Start meditation by listening to the quiet spaces inside and also let go of trying to control what’s happening in your mind
  • When you realize you’re lost in thought during meditation, gently encourage your attention back to your meditation anchor or listening
  • Observe your relationship with failure – or things going some other way than the way you want them to – during meditation
  • Gratitude for popping out of the dream or trance state 
  • Encountering life attitudes during meditation
  • Spiritual insight during real life – what do you value at any given moment?
  • Chasing a spiritual high
  • Asking “what am I in service to?”
  • Not having to have the feeling in order to engage in right action

Adyshanti Links:

adyashanti.org

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other Adyashanti episodes:

Adyashanti (Part 1) 2018

Adyashanti (Part 2) 2018

Adyashanti (2017)

Oren Jay Sofer on Mindful Communication

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Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States.  He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss…

  • His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
  • That we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to moment
  • The three steps to create effective conversation
  • Lead with Presence
  • Come from Curiosity and Care
  • Focus on What Matters
  • How most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another person
  • That you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or not
  • Bringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment)
  • Bodily sensations happen in the present moment
  • The power of pausing
  • How our rate of speech is connected to our nervous system
  • That when we are present, we have a lot more choices
  • That our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communications
  • The intention to understand
  • The intention of kindness and care
  • How you can practice kindness to someone you don’t like
  • Kindness can be about protecting your own heart
  • The phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…”
  • Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need?
  • The difference between needs and strategies
  • The Nonviolent Communication Model
  • Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests
  • Communicating in the workplace

Oren Jay Sofer Links

OrenJaySofer.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Dan Harris & Oren Jay Sofer (2016)

Jeff Warren

Tara Brach

Ralph De La Rosa on the Mind as Your Teacher

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Ralph De La Rosa is a psychotherapist in private practice in NYC. He specializes in helping people resolve their childhood traumas, anxiety, depression and intimacy issues. You might have seen his work in places like CNN, GQ, Self, or Women’s Health. His new book is called The Monkey is the Messenger and it is an instructional and revolutionary look at what it means to attend and befriend ones self. In this interview, he shares some of the key practices that are most helpful along this journey. 

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 In This Interview, Ralph De La Rosa and I Discuss…

  • His book, The Monkey is the Messenger
  • The truest sentence he knows – there’s always more to the story
  • The monkey – what it is and why it’s on our side
  • The monkey mind as our teacher
  • The monkey mind drives us towards meditation and away from meditation
  • Our triggers are on the surface and they are connected to something deeper within us that’s unhealed. We can absolutely get to that root through mindfulness and meditation.
  • The value of showing up for a daily practice
  • Drawing the attention out of our head and into our body gets our brain activated in the right hemisphere
  • The right hemisphere – nonlinguistic, free of chatter
  • Emotions are held in the body
  • The unconscious mind is accessed in the body because emotions show up in our body
  • Radical Nonpathology
  • Love, gratification and safety are at the root
  • How can I be happy? How can I avoid suffering?
  • What looks pathological are our misguided attempts to meet these root needs and drivers
  • Holding our emotions like children
  • Using circumstances to heal rather than being retraumatized through emotional warmth
  • That difficult emotions are messengers to us
  • Abandoning or ignoring any part of ourselves is equivalent to enacting aggression towards ourselves. 
  • How Vinny Ferraro says you can’t hate your way into enlightenment
  • The inner critic
  • Emotions always follow a logic

Ralph De La Rosa Links

Homepage 

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Ruth King on Healing Racism

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Ruth King is an emotional wisdom author, coach, and consultant. She’s a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Community of Washington and she’s on the teacher’s council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. In addition, she’s the founder of Mindful Members Insight Meditation Community in Charlotte, NC. She has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the author of several publications including her new book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out. In this stirring, thoughtful and wise conversation, she touches on the heart of racism and teaches how we can move to heal this heart disease.

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 In This Interview, Ruth King and I Discuss…

  • The value of being curious about the good and bad wolves inside of us
  • Racism being a heart disease that is curable
  • Her open heart surgery at the age of 27
  • Rage being an exit route
  • Rage being energy moving through the body
  • Habitual patterns of racism being a layer on top of the real issue that we can’t tolerate – they are defense mechanisms
  • Racial affinity groups
  • 6 hindrances
  • The structure of racism
  • Racism vs Prejudice
  • Racist vs Racism
  • Understanding our own experience with racism and talking about it
  • What it’s like to be “membered”
  • Individual vs group identity
  • Diversity within the body of color

Ruth King Links

Homepage

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Re-Release: Tara Brach

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This week we talk to Tara Brach

Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. She is a guiding teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C  Brach also teaches Buddhist meditation at centers for meditation and yoga in the United States and Europe including Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California, the Kripalu Center,and the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies.

Brach is an engaged Buddhist specializing in the application of Buddhist teachings to emotional healing. Her 2003 book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, focuses on the use of practices such as mindfulness for healing trauma. Her 2013 book, True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart, offers practices for tapping into inner peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.

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 In This Interview, Tara Brach and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable
  • Being kind to the parts of ourselves that are more primitive
  • The difference between feelings and thoughts
  • Dropping the storyline
  • The question of “What am I unwilling to feel?”
  • How we have to go through the difficult emotions to get to peace
  • The importance of remembering the good
  • Not being addicted to suffering
  • The habit of looking for what’s wrong
  • What’s the moment like if there is no problem
  • How we tend to always anticipate a problem 
  • How we are almost always lost in thought
  • Practicing coming into our senses
  • Self-compassion as the most important quality on the spiritual path
  • Only being taught one type of meditation
  • Trying different types of meditation until we find the one that works best for us
  • The quality that helps people progress on the path of meditation: intention
  • How to deal with numbness
  • Tara’s tips on dealing with depression
  • How depression hates a moving target
  • That depression is not our fault
  • Finding refuge in difficult times
  • Instead of asking “What’s the Meaning” asking “What matters to me here”

Tara Brach Links

 

Dorothy Hunt on The Heart of Awareness

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Dorothy Hunt serves as the spiritual director of the Moon Mountain Sangha, teaching the spiritual lineage of Adyshanti. She is also the founder of the San Francisco Center for Meditation and Psychotherapy where she has practiced since 1967. She has several published works, the most recent being her book, Ending the Search: From Spiritual Ambition to the Heart of Awareness. We think you’ll find her teachings profound, liberating and refreshing. In this episode, she and Eric discuss what it means and looks like to awaken to our true reality. She dropped some truth bombs on us and if you listen to the conversation, we think they’ll land on you as well.

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 In This Interview, Dorothy Hunt and I Discuss…

  • How we carry the seeds of everything within us – which do we water with our attention?
  • That everything is an “inside job”
  • Her focus of awakening to our true reality
  • What spiritual ambition means
  • The role of self-inquiry in awakening to who/what we really are
  • A unified reality
  • Desire, effort, and grace
  • Intensity taking the place for ambition
  • Staying put in the not knowing
  • Staying put in the silence
  • Expansion and contraction in life
  • The error of thinking that our spirituality has to look a certain way
  • Alternatives to silence as your soul food
  • Asking ourselves the question: What is the deepest desire of my heart?
  • Asking the follow-up question: And what will that bring? to get to the deepest desire
  • Following your own inner teacher, your inner guidance
  • That happiness is temporarily stopping wanting to be somewhere else
  • That Adyashanti gave her nothing
  • The sword that cuts through illusion
  • When truth is moving it’s not asking permission
  • When we want the truth more than we want life to look a certain way we find it

Dorothy Hunt Links

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