This week we talk to Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer about mindful communication
Our guests this week are Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer.
Dan was a previous guest and we discussed his great book, 10% Happier. In addition, Dan is the current anchor on the weekend edition of Good Morning America as well as Nightline.
He has begun creating a series of courses based around 10% Happier. One of those courses features Oren Sofer.
Oren is a teacher and practitioner of Buddhist meditation, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Somatics. Oren is a specialist in the role of mindfulness in creating better conversation.
This conversation was recorded in Dan’s office in the ABC Studios in New York.
Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress
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In This Interview, Oren Dan and I Discuss:
- The One You Feed parable
- Why mindfulness is useful in communication
- The 10% Happier app
- Learning to see confrontation as an opportunity to improve the relationship
- How our cultural conditioning teaches us the Win/Lose paradigm
- How we have a strong negative conditioning against confrontation that becomes hard-wired
- How mindfulness allows us to slow down and monitor our emotional reactions in conversation
- The role of curiosity in communication
- How to become more curious
- Learning to ask “What matters here” when listening to others
- Learning to say that we don’t feel like talking instead of just pretending
- The minor discomfort of being real
- How to say things in a way that the other person can hear and understand
- Learning to hold our tongue in certain situations
- How being silent can lead to its own challenges
- The importance of timing in choosing when to address issues
- Context sensitive communication
- The two criteria of good communication: does the other person understand and does it lead to connection