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This week we talk to Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer about mindful communication
Our guests this week are Dan Harris and Oren J Sofer.
Dan was a previous guest and we discussed his great book, 10% Happier. In addition, Dan is the current anchor on the weekend edition of Good Morning America as well as Nightline.
He has begun creating a series of courses based around 10% Happier. One of those courses features Oren Sofer.
Oren is a teacher and practitioner of Buddhist meditation, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Somatics. Oren is a specialist in the role of mindfulness in creating better conversation.
This conversation was recorded in Dan’s office in the ABC Studios in New York.
Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress
Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!
In This Interview, Oren Dan and I Discuss:
- The One You Feed parable
- Why mindfulness is useful in communication
- The 10% Happier app
- Learning to see confrontation as an opportunity to improve the relationship
- How our cultural conditioning teaches us the Win/Lose paradigm
- How we have a strong negative conditioning against confrontation that becomes hard-wired
- How mindfulness allows us to slow down and monitor our emotional reactions in conversation
- The role of curiosity in communication
- How to become more curious
- Learning to ask “What matters here” when listening to others
- Learning to say that we don’t feel like talking instead of just pretending
- The minor discomfort of being real
- How to say things in a way that the other person can hear and understand
- Learning to hold our tongue in certain situations
- How being silent can lead to its own challenges
- The importance of timing in choosing when to address issues
- Context sensitive communication
- The two criteria of good communication: does the other person understand and does it lead to connection
Dan Harris Links
Oren J Sofer Links
Darin Floyd says
Just learned of oneyoufeed.net’s existence as I listened to a podcast- I believe it’s called The Mindful Zone-during my run this morning.
I’ve always loved-& tried to live by- feeding the good wolf.
Anyway- really enjoyed it, and I plan on checking out everything you’ve got here.
Thank you
Eric Zimmer says
Hi Darin….glad to have you listening. I hope you like more of what you hear.
Rebecca says
Hi Eric,
I teach my elementary students a problem solving process during which each child describes the conflict they are having to the other child involved, while that child only listens. They then fill in the blanks. I feel blank because blank and I wish blank. Then the other child does the same. Once we figure out what they both wish or need, I help them work together to resolve it with a win win action. Listening to this podcast really helped validate what I am doing. Children are used to adults just telling them what to do or to suck it up. By the middle of the year, some students have internalized this enough to do it without me.
Eric Zimmer says
This is really great. Kudos to you for doing this. I wish I leaned that as a kid.
Chantelle says
Wow! What a great skill to teach children!! 👌🏼💕