trauma

Hilary Jacobs Hendel- How To Process Emotions

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Hilary Jacobs Hendel -Full- The One You Feed

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experientia dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. 

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In This Interview, Hilary Jacobs Hendel and I Discuss…

  • Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self
  • The 7 C’s of our authentic self
  • The science and biology of emotions
  • The change triangle
  • The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement
  • The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame
  • How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed
  • Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions 
  • The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions
  • How to work The Change Triangle
  • Trauma vs trauma
  • The power of naming your emotions
  • Our open-hearted state
  • When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them
  • Grounding and breathing
  • The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve
  • All core emotions have impulses associated with them
  • How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be
  • Relating to ourselves as a small child
  • Healthy shame vs toxic shame

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Ralph De La Rosa on the Mind as Your Teacher

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Ralph De La Rosa is a psychotherapist in private practice in NYC. He specializes in helping people resolve their childhood traumas, anxiety, depression and intimacy issues. You might have seen his work in places like CNN, GQ, Self, or Women’s Health. His new book is called The Monkey is the Messenger and it is an instructional and revolutionary look at what it means to attend and befriend ones self. In this interview, he shares some of the key practices that are most helpful along this journey. 

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 In This Interview, Ralph De La Rosa and I Discuss…

  • His book, The Monkey is the Messenger
  • The truest sentence he knows – there’s always more to the story
  • The monkey – what it is and why it’s on our side
  • The monkey mind as our teacher
  • The monkey mind drives us towards meditation and away from meditation
  • Our triggers are on the surface and they are connected to something deeper within us that’s unhealed. We can absolutely get to that root through mindfulness and meditation.
  • The value of showing up for a daily practice
  • Drawing the attention out of our head and into our body gets our brain activated in the right hemisphere
  • The right hemisphere – nonlinguistic, free of chatter
  • Emotions are held in the body
  • The unconscious mind is accessed in the body because emotions show up in our body
  • Radical Nonpathology
  • Love, gratification and safety are at the root
  • How can I be happy? How can I avoid suffering?
  • What looks pathological are our misguided attempts to meet these root needs and drivers
  • Holding our emotions like children
  • Using circumstances to heal rather than being retraumatized through emotional warmth
  • That difficult emotions are messengers to us
  • Abandoning or ignoring any part of ourselves is equivalent to enacting aggression towards ourselves. 
  • How Vinny Ferraro says you can’t hate your way into enlightenment
  • The inner critic
  • Emotions always follow a logic

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Re-Release: Dr. Gabor Mate on Addiction

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Dr. Gabor Mate´- The One You Feed

This week we talk to Dr. Gabor Mate´about addiction

A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development.

For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site.

As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages.

Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focusses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner.

Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; and the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University.

 In This Interview, Dr. Gabor Mate´and I Discuss…

  • The One You Feed parable
  • The degree of choice we have in life
  • What is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts?
  • What is addiction?
  • The characteristics of addiction
  • Recognizing what addicts get out of their addiction
  • The fundamental question is not “Why the Addiction” but “Why the Pain”
  • How all addiction comes out of some hurt or trauma
  • The different types of trauma
  • The role of neurotransmitters in addiction
  • How drugs and alcohol destroy the parts of the brain that allow us to make sound decisions
  • Whether or not genetics play a significant role in addiction
  • Whether our culture breeds addiction
  • How our children get most of their leadership from other children
  • How the breakup of family, community and clan is contributing to addiction
  • The critical role of the culture in our the development of our brains
  • Recognizing our inherent value
  • To what degree we have freedom over our choices
  • Without consciousness, there is no freedom
  • Paths to recovery
  • How compassion can help with recovery
  • Developing compassionate curiosity towards ourselves

Dr. Gabor Mate´ Links

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Brandi Lust on Growth via the Present Moment

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Brandi Lust is the founder of Learning Lab Consulting which is focused on mindful, creative growth both at the individual level as well as at the large group and corporate level. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters. In their conversation, they cover important and very real topics such as how to grow through suffering, being alive and present in the moment and operating from a state of flow. You may be familiar with these topics on some level, but regardless of your starting point, you’ll dive deeper into them through listening to this episode.

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In This Interview, Brandi Lust and I Discuss…

  • Her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters 
  • Four myths we have as people
  • We are not rational creatures, we are emotional creatures
  • The way we interact with the moment
  • How if your metric is external, it’s never enough
  • The tools she uses to operate from a state of flow
  • How suffering has an important place on the spiritual path
  • That we hold past trauma in our bodies
  • Emotional Residue
  • Feeling it all in the moment so you don’t have to carry it around with you
  • That pain in life isn’t personal – it’s a natural part of the human experience
  • Post Traumatic Growth
  • Making meaning from our difficult experiences
  • Having a belief system of something larger than yourself
  • Can we grow without suffering?
  • Experiencing awe in the moment
  • Secondary Post Traumatic Growth through empathy and understanding
  • Psychological safety
  • Self-transcendence

Brandi Lust Links

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