The One You Feed

Practical Wisdom for a Better Life

mindfulness

Brandi Lust on Growth via the Present Moment

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Brandi Lust is the founder of Learning Lab Consulting which is focused on mindful, creative growth both at the individual level as well as at the large group and corporate level. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters. In their conversation, they cover important and very real topics such as how to grow through suffering, being alive and present in the moment and operating from a state of flow. You may be familiar with these topics on some level, but regardless of your starting point, you’ll dive deeper into them through listening to this episode.

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In This Interview, Brandi Lust and I Discuss…

  • Her book, Myths of Being Human: Four Paths to Connecting to What Matters 
  • Four myths we have as people
  • We are not rational creatures, we are emotional creatures
  • The way we interact with the moment
  • How if your metric is external, it’s never enough
  • The tools she uses to operate from a state of flow
  • How suffering has an important place on the spiritual path
  • That we hold past trauma in our bodies
  • Emotional Residue
  • Feeling it all in the moment so you don’t have to carry it around with you
  • That pain in life isn’t personal – it’s a natural part of the human experience
  • Post Traumatic Growth
  • Making meaning from our difficult experiences
  • Having a belief system of something larger than yourself
  • Can we grow without suffering?
  • Experiencing awe in the moment
  • Secondary Post Traumatic Growth through empathy and understanding
  • Psychological safety
  • Self-transcendence

Brandi Lust Links

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Mark Epstein on the Intersection of Buddhism and Psychology

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Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in NYC and the author of many books about the intersection of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He’s currently the clinical assistant professor in the postdoctoral program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University. His most recent book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself is what he talks about in this episode. His wisdom is so incredibly practical, applicable, and helpful. Ideas like whether or not naming your feelings would be a helpful strategy for you and how to work with clinging in its many forms – even the clinging to inner peace – abound in this discussion. Take a listen and enrich your inner life.

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In This Interview, Mark Epstein and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
  • The duality that we all struggle with
  • Freud and the Buddha’s nearly identical conclusion
  • What it means to take personal responsibility for our selfish concerns
  • The clinging to that which gives us a sense of control over life
  • The clinging to that which nurtures our ego
  • The eightfold path of the Buddha
  • The conversation with his terminally ill father that inspired this book
  • Right View – being realistic about one’s self and the nature of things
  • How change and death is happening all of the time, moment to moment
  • Trying not to try as it relates to meditation
  • “Take the backward step” in meditation
  • FInding balance in “right effort”
  • Exploring the feelings that we are otherwise afraid of through psychotherapy
  • The link between being with uncomfortable feelings and empathy to others
  • How anything that’s happening in the body or mind can be the object of meditation
  • How useful it is to name a feeling
  • Making a feeling “intelligible” by naming it
  • How useful it can be to find where feelings show up in the body
  • When your mind is not aware of what’s making you act this way (in addiction, compulsive behaviors etc) it’s important to put the words on the feelings
  • Whether or not all emotions show up in the body
  • How clinging takes many forms – even the desire for inner peace
  • “Don’t chase her, let her find you.”
  • That our lives are made dull by our efforts to over control things

Mark Epstein Links

223: Rick Hanson #2

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Rick Hanson, PhD is a Neuropsychologist, teacher and author of many books. He is the founder of the Wellspring Center for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley. This is the 2nd time Dr. Hanson has been a guest on the show and we invited him back because of how great his work really is. In this episode, he talks all about the fact that who we become is a result of what we grow inside of ourselves. Using the analogy of tending a garden, he teaches us very practical ways to grow and enrich ourselves through the experiences in our lives. Get a pen and paper – you’ll probably want to take notes on this one!
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In This Interview, Rick Hanson and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His book, Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness
  • Who we become is a result of what we grow inside ourselves
  • How you manage your challenges, protect your vulnerabilities, Increase your resources: out in the world, in the body, and in the mind
  • Growing resources in our mind is a good focus
  • Converting an experience into lasting change
  • Slowing down content delivery so that the nervous system in our brains has a chance to receive it and rewire accordingly
  • 5 ways to enrich a beneficial experience:
  • Extend the experience (make it longer)
  • Intensify the experience (really lean into it)
  • Embody the experience (how does it feel in your body and your mind)
  • Freshen the experience (see what’s novel about it? Bring a beginners mind)
  • Value the experience (see the relevance to you)
  • Asking what is the challenge? What resource would be the most beneficial?
  • The mind is like a garden – to grow things, focus on:
  • Mindful witnessing
  • Mindful releasing of what’s negative
  • Mindful receiving (replace what we release or simply receive what would be beneficial)
  • Fighting what’s negative only makes it work
  • Growing a fundamental core of resilient wellbeing
  • Safety, Satisfaction, and Connection are basic needs we have
  • How it takes time to tend a garden
  • How adversity isn’t the only way to grow in life
  • We have to experience what we want to grow inside
  • We have to turn that experience into some kind of lasting change in the brain

Rick Hanson Links

222: Jeff Warren on Meditating with a Busy Mind

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Jeff Warren is a former journalist and more recently is a researcher, writer, and teacher of meditation and personal growth practices. His most recent book, written with Dan Harris, is called, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book. Jeff is a likable, relatable guy who carries a lot of practical wisdom in his conversational style of communicating. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good at meditating or that meditation just isn’t for you because your brain never turns off, this interview is for you because that’s how Jeff would describe himself, particularly at the beginning of his practice years ago. We all know that meditation is good for us but for many, it just feels inaccessible and out of reach. If that is how you feel, what Jeff has to share in this interview will make that gap shrink in size so much so that you can hop right over it and try again.
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In This Interview, Jeff Warren and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His book with Dan Harris, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book
  • The role of meditation in living with depression
  • The voice in our heads
  • Not identifying with the voices in our heads
  • Coming out of the conversation in our heads
  • The idea of “I can’t meditate”
  • Thinking we’re supposed to stop thinking when we meditate
  • Changing the relationship with your thoughts
  • Focusing on an anchor, getting lost in thought, realizing you’re lost in thought and coming back to your anchor = mediation
  • How quick we are to conclude that meditation isn’t for us
  • That meditation is a practice
  • Celebrating the coming back from thought in meditation
  • Training affability during meditation
  • Finding enjoyment and curiosity during meditation
  •  Asking “What’s the attitude in my mind right now?” during meditation
  • That attitude is what you’re training during meditation
  • Looking at the world with interest
  • Equanimity = a lack of pushing and pulling on experience
  • Opening to experience so that there’s no friction
  • When everything has permission to express its self fully

Jeff Warren Links