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Oliver Burkeman on Modern Time Management

March 19, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

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Oliver Burkeman is an award-winning writer for The Guardian and his book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking explores the upsides of failure, difficulty, and imperfection – which we discussed in our first interview with Oliver several hundred episodes ago. Each week in his column in The Guardian, “This Column Will Change Your Life”, he writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness. In this interview, he discusses his take on time management in today’s world.

In This Interview, Oliver Burkeman and I Discuss…

His take on the modern time management world
That technologies of efficiency don’t seem to bring peace of mind
How your to-do list is never going to go away
That having emails in your inbox is not necessarily a problem
Time management whispers of the possibility of true peace of mind
Thinking of “a simpler time”
How processing through your inbox is like climbing up an infinitely long ladder
That tough choices have to be made when deciding what to do with your time – no matter how many productivity assists you have
How it’s often easier to spend time on trivial stuff than the big projects
David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done
How no one beats them self up for not being able to jump a mile in the air because they never thought they could in the first place
Similarly, accepting the real limitations in how much time you have and how much you can get done is incredibly liberating
Productivity advice from Warren Buffet
The role social media plays in our expectations about how productive we could or should be
How digital distractions help us numb out

Oliver Burkeman Links

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Oliver Burkeman (2014)

John Zeratsky

Chris Bailey

Eli Jaxon-Bear on Your True Self

March 12, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

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Eli Jaxon-Bear founded and currently teaches through The Leela Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to world peace and freedom through universal self-realization. Eli is also the author of many books, including the one we discuss in this episode, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary. In this episode, he talks to Eric about accessing and experiencing your true self and things that get in the way of that. Also, he hits on a perspective of the Enneagram that we bet you’ve never considered before.

In This Interview, Eli Jaxon-Bear and I Discuss…

His book, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary
Discovering who is feeding the wolves within
That to know your true self you have to turn away from your false self – the self you construct in your mind
NLP, the Enneagram and hypnosis integrated into his therapy
His lasting enlightenment
Knowing what you really want and staying true to it in each moment
The journey from “me” to “I”
Symptom cure and habit control
His book, Sudden Awakening
How your heart is already intelligent and alive
That the Enneagram Personality Types is actually the Enneagram of Character Fixation
Asking, does this bring me freedom, true love, happiness? Go deeper than the character fixation and find your character
Waking up from the act, from the show, and stop taking it personally having to prove things
The character fixation of an Enneagram type 9
The “Chief Feature”
All of our experience has a Mental, Emotional and Physical component and the ego encapsulates all three of those
The history of the origins of the Enneagram
His book on the Enneagram

Eli Jaxon-Bear Links

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Belinda Gore

Amoda Maa

Catherine Gray on Unexpected Joy

March 5, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

Catherine Gray is a listener favorite guest on the show. She’s been on once before to talk about her book, The Unexpected Joy of being Sober and we received so many messages about how people loved the conversation Eric had with her. In this episode, she’s here to discuss her new book, The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity. Are you single? Then obviously this episode is for you. Are you in a relationship? Then – unexpectedly – this episode is also for you! Too often, people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone. You don’t want to feel trapped where you are – you want to be empowered knowing that where you are is where you CHOOSE to be – not where you HAVE to be. So, re-framing what it means and what it’s like to be single opens up everyone’s world by bringing you to the point of choice about your relationship status, rather than the point of “panic settling” or “victim mentality” about your relationship status. Trust us, you’re going to like this one.

In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss…

Her book,The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity
That being single is not terrible!
How being single is a whole lot better than “panic settling”
That being single can be nourishing and refreshing – it has everything to do with reframing the way you see it
Enjoying where you are at the time
That there are pros and cons to being in a relationship and there are also pros and cons to being single
The “if-then” happiness loop that’s a moving target
How you get used to what you have and then you shoot for the next thing
Choosing your perspective on your life and counting up your gratitudes
That being single is WAY BETTER than being in a bad relationship
How people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone
What being a “love addict” means
How you need bonding with 5 people in your life – not just 1 – to be happy
How essential it is to like yourself in order to be happy in a healthy relationship
The three different attachment styles that are created in early childhood (but can be changed in adulthood): anxious attached, secure attached, avoidant attached
How feminism – in other words, equality – has made it socially acceptable for women to be single now
A thought doesn’t have to lead to an action
Don’t let yourself get too “HALT” (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired)

Catherine Gray Links

Instagram

Catherine Gray (First interview 2018)

Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed

Thirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolf

Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25. Visit www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for free

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Mary O’Malley

Jonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. on Depression

February 26, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

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Jonathan Rottenberg is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of South Florida where he’s the director of the mood and emotion laboratory. He’s also the author of the book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic“, which he and Eric have discussed before. In this interview, they discuss some of the studies and research he’s involved with specific to those who go on to flourish after having depression. Why do they? What can we learn from them? There’s hope and practical wisdom in this episode for you.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

In This Interview, Jonathan Rottenberg and I Discuss…

His book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic
Thriving after depression
The studies and research he’s involved with
People who thrive after depression
The destructive and recurring nature of depression
The typical low expectation for those with depression about life moving forward and how it should be different
What is mental “health”?
Psychological well being
Experiencing positive emotions
Experiencing negative emotions to a lesser degree
Feeling of balance in life
Having meaningful relationships
Feeling a sense of autonomy over your life
How happy should we expect to be?
Having elements of wellbeing amidst struggling with depression
The 3 things that seed a low mood: events, temperaments, and routines
Rumination
Ways that people can work with depression more skillfully
Having a different relationship with your negative thoughts
Having connections with others
Research on flourishing
How much control do we have over our state of flourishing?
That it’s never too late
There is hope
Our culture that idealizes euphoria
The role of our basic temperament
Factors of wellbeing other than emotion and mood
The organization he helped found, Depression Army
The interesting and transformative experience of depression
That his depression has been defanged and it doesn’t break the skin anymore

Jonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. Links:

Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less, go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trial

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If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Jonathan Rottenberg (First Interview, 2014)

Johan Hari

Lisa Feldman Barrett

Therese Borchard

Susan David, Ph.D. – Emotional Agility

February 19, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

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Susan David is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School. She’s also the co-founder and co-director of The Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital and is CEO of Evidence-Based Psychology. Her book is, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Have you ever gotten hooked by a difficult emotion? In other words, have you ever felt compelled to act on a strong feeling without having any space to think about your action first? If so, you will find really helpful wisdom in this episode that you can take, apply today and live a more skillful, open-hearted life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

In This Interview, Susan David and I Discuss…

Her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
How emotions are a guidance system
That emotions can help us adapt and thrive
The thinking “unless I’m happy all the time, something is wrong”
Emotional Agility
Loosening up, calming down and living with more intention
The space between stimulus and response
Emotional rigidity
Allowing the story in our head to drive our actions
Being who we most want to be in this world
Moving away from the idea of “I have a thought and the thought is fact and I have to act on it”
Getting hooked – accepting thought as fact
That we are not our emotions – our emotions are a data source
The story that imprisons and keeps us from acting in an open-hearted way
How to get unhooked
Getting curious and compassionate about our emotions when we’re hooked
I’m noticing that I’m feeling ____
Creating a safe psychological space for ourselves
“Walking your why”
Choice points: do I move towards my values or away from my values?
Social contagion
Keeping your values front of mind
Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life
That our difficult emotions (like anxiety, for example) don’t have to go away in order for us to live according to our values
Under our difficult emotions are signposts for our values
Premature cognitive commitment
Stories help us to make sense of our world
Naming our stories

Susan David, Ph.D. Links:

susandavid.com

Ted Talk – Susan David, Ph.D.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

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Daily Harvest delivers absolutely delicious, organic, carefully sourced, chef created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed

The Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. To get a full month for FREE, visit thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code: WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set.

If you like this episode you might enjoy these other episodes:

Ralph De La Rosa

Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Parker Palmer – Reflections from Getting Older

February 12, 2019 By Nicole Silberman Leave a Comment

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Parker Palmer is a writer, teacher, and activist whose work speaks deeply to many people in many different walks of life. He’s the founder and senior partner in The Center for Courage and Renewal. He’s the author of many books, including his newest one which we talk about on this episode: On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. Parker is one of our favorite guests of the show and after you listen to this episode, you’ll know why he’s back for a second conversation.

In This Interview, Parker Palmer and I Discuss…

His book, On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old
His reflections looking back on his life
The resilient fabric of his life
How perfection is an illusion
The role mistakes can play in one’s life
The gift of age: Looking back on one’s life and saying “It all belongs”
Another gift of age: Deep appreciation and gratitude for the present moment
Feeling like you’re one of the lucky ones that you’re “old”
Asking “What’s there for me to learn?” when facing problematic moments in life (like feeling down, or feeling self-pity)
Moments of life that are burdened with ego
The correlation between ego concerns and anxiety
The importance and role of perspective
The what and why of the things we’re doing
The question (and trap!): Does my life have meaning?
My legacy vs Our legacy
How we’re all embedded in community
“I planted some seeds and found some people I wanted to garden with…”
How life and work are profoundly communal
Reflecting on the question, “Have I been sufficiently open to and aware of the significant contributions others have made in my life – and in such a way to do a deep bow to them in the work that I do?”
Turning attention outward vs inward
Being one among many vs trying to be something or someone special
The healing impact of getting out into the natural world
His poem “Harrowing”
To know when to say, “enough” because the rest of the world and the rest of my life is waiting

Parker Palmer Links