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184: Justin Stenstrom

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This week we talk to Justin Stenstrom

Justin Stenstrom the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes, a best-selling author, life coach, and speaker.

He has been featured on major news websites like The Huffington Post, Maxim, The Good Men Project, Lifehack, Elite Daily, and many more.

In This Interview, Justin Stenstrom and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • His podcast, The Elite Man
  • Taking control of the thoughts in your head
  • Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)
  • Hypnosis
  • How he has battled anxiety, panic attacks, and depression in his life
  • The powerful, subconscious mind vs the conscious mind
  • The role of positive affirmations and suggestions
  • Reprogramming the subconscious mind to be happier
  • What a successful hypnotic session feels like
  • How some people can be hypnotized and others cannot
  • The key learnings from his podcast
  • The guests from his podcast who stick out to him
  • The power of failure or rejection to propel people forward in their lives and/or careers
  • The supplements that he recommends for depression
  • Fish Oil with DHA and EPA
  • Omega 6 and Omega 3 ratio
  • Vitamin D
  • B complex
  • Magnesium Citrate

Justin Stenstrom Links

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feedThe Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

183: Heather Havrilesky

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Heather Havrilesky -Full- The One You Feed
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This week we talk to Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky writes the popular advice column Ask Polly for New York Magazine’s The Cut. She is the author of the memoir Disaster Preparedness and the new advice book How to Be a Person in the World. She writes The Best Seller List column for Book Forum and has written for The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, The Los Angeles Times, NPR’s All Things Considered, and many other publications.

In This Interview, Heather Havrilesky and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • Her book, How to Be a Person in the World
  • Coming to peace with your flaws
  • Finding a place within yourself where who you are is enough
  • What a beautiful life is to her
  • How she is constantly checking and rebalancing areas of her life
  • The serenity prayer
  • “Is the juice worth the squeeze?”
  • That touching the same flame can be dangerous to some people
  • Seeing your life as a series of problems instead of a patchwork of things to savor
  • That there isn’t an objectively “good way to be”
  • How people are far more complex than we give them credit for
  • The question of “does it serve you” is a good one to ask yourself in relationships
  • Not knowing how to get below the surface with people
  • How she has finally learned to relax around other people
  • That people are trapped in their head
  • To not beat yourself up for falling into the same “pot holes” over and over

Heather Havrilesky Links

182: Colin Gawel

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This week we talk to Colin Gawel

Colin Gawel is the guitarist of the American rock band, Watershed. Colin also has a solo career both with and without his backing band – Colin Gawel and the Lonely  Bones. The album Superior – The Best of Colin Gawel was released in Dec 2016. Colin also lead writer, editor, and founder of the website Pencilstorm and the owner of the legendary Colin’s Coffee in Columbus, Ohio.

This conversation was recorded live in Colin’s kitchen and is focused on fatherhood in honor of Father’s Day this weekend.

In This Interview, Colin Gawel and I Discuss…

  • Father’s Day
  • His song, Dad Can’t Help You Now
  • The challenge of watching your child live life beyond your protection
  • What it feels like as a parent for your child to leave home
  • Talking to your children about addiction in their family history
  • Being on the little league baseball team together as kids
  • How important it is to come back from adversity
  • Doing things for the love of doing them rather than for the anticipated outcome
  • His time in the band, Watershed
  • Keeping things in balance in life
  • That time is precious
  • How we find resilience in life
  • The importance of the people you surround yourself with
  • How he writes about what it’s like to be an adult in his music
  • His song, The Words We Say
  • How different people react and interpret his songs differently
  • How unusual it is that as a musician, he prefers to perform sober rather than high on something
  • That he’s conscious of how his son sees him consuming alcohol
  • Our mutual love of music
  • His song, Try a Little Faith

Colin Gawel Links

Homepage– with links to songs mentioned in the episode

Facebook

Twitter

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181: Chris Niebauer

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This week we talk to Chris Niebauer

Chris Niebauer received his Ph.D. in Cognitive Neuropsychology from the University of Toledo where he specialized in left-right brain differences. He has conducted research on consciousness, handedness, beliefs and the sense of self and is currently an associate professor of cognitive psychology at Slippery Rock University in Pennsylvania. When he is not teaching, Chris likes to play guitar, spend time with his family, and work on new books. His new book is called The Neurotic’s Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement

In This Interview, Chris Niebauer and I Discuss…

  • His book, The Neurotic’s Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement
  • That your thoughts and behaviors should match and when they don’t you look to make it happen – Cognitive Dissonance
  • Confirmation Bias
  • The power of gratitude
  • The mechanics of thoughts themselves
  • The law of opposition
  • Why if you accept a bad mood, it begins to dissipate
  • That the universe is always becoming something that it isn’t
  • The good and bad news about the ego
  • The impermanence of “things”
  • The eternal nature of “verbs”
  • The often incorrect storytelling, or pattern finding nature of the left brain
  • The left brain interpreter
  • The ego as a story that we tell ourselves
  • The challenge of finding consciousness in the brain
  • “Doing” rather than “having” consciousness
  • The analogy of jogging to consciousness or ego: if you stop jogging and pat yourself down trying to find the “jogging” in you. It’s a verb, not a noun
  • The connection between pattern finding and depression vs anxiety
  • A state of enlightenment and the left, pattern-finding brain
  • How we want the universe to be a mystery

Chris Niebauer Links

180: Thomas Sterner

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This week we talk to Thomas Sterner

Thomas Sterner is the founder and CEO of The Practicing Mind Institute. He is considered an expert in Present Moment Functioning. He is a popular and in-demand speaker who works with high-performance individuals including, athletes, industry groups and individuals, helping them to operate effectively within high-stress situations so that they can break through to new levels of mastery.

He has been featured in top media outlets such as NPR and Fox News. He is the author of the best seller The Practicing Mind. His latest book is called Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life

In This Interview, Thomas Sterner and I Discuss…

  • His newest book, Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life
  • How you can’t change anything that you’re not aware of
  • That most of us spend our day as someone in their thoughts as opposed to someone who is having thoughts
  • Meditation being the vehicle for growing in self-awareness
  • Learning to recognize the truth that “I am not my thoughts, I am the one who has thoughts”
  • The strengths of being observer oriented rather than in a state of reactivity
  • That people who think they’ve had a “bad meditation” have actually had a very good meditation
  • That meditation is never a done task
  • The value of thinking of meditation like you do exercising
  • The innate sense in us that is misinterpreted
  • That the desire to expand is built into our DNA
  • The power of the question, ‘And then what?”
  • That real perfection is the ability to expand infinitely
  • It’s the interpretation of the experience that makes it feel the way it does
  • Making decisions about how to handle a “road block” beforehand
  • How we can control our emotions and doing so is a skill
  • The difference between a feeling and the truth
  • The importance of setting goals with accurate information
  • How you have to be in a situation to learn how to function in that situation
  • That struggle is a sign that we are expanding and learning and up against our threshold

Thomas Sterner Links

179: Dani Shapiro

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Dani Shapiro Full - The One You Feed
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This week we talk to Dani Shapiro

Dani Shapiro is the bestselling author of three memoirs and 5 novels.  Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Granta, Tin House. The New York Times Book Review, The Los Angeles Times, and has been broadcast on NPR’s “This American Life”.  Her newest book is Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage

In This Interview, Dani Shapiro and I Discuss…

  • Her newest book, Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage
  • Her book, Devotion: A Memoir
  • How we are all connected
  • Her history with Orthodox Judaism
  • This sense that she had to pray though she didn’t know who or what she was praying to
  • Her process of figuring out what she believes in a spiritual realm
  • Living inside the questions, exploring spiritual wisdom
  • How she moved away from an all or nothing mentality
  • That if her only two choices are “all or nothing”, she’s going with nothing
  • With her book Devotion: A Memoir, she wrote the book so that she could go on the journey, not the other way around
  • “If you want to do something, begin it, because action has magic, grace and power in it.” – Goethe
  • The “third thing” that’s essential in relationships
  • What it means to walk through life with another person
  • What it is like to be comfortable not knowing things in life
  • The saying “we can make the best out of everything that happens” vs “everything happens for a reason”
  • Her parents terrible accident
  • The death of her father and it’s effect on her life

Dani Shapiro Links