The One You Feed

Practical Wisdom for a Better Life

sobriety

220: Catherine Gray

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Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor. Her most recent book is called, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. What a brilliant title and what a brilliant book. In it – and in this interview – Catherine offers so many good ideas, phrases, and pearls of wisdom to take away and keep close by. She shares a bit about her journey to and through sobriety with Eric and the critical “ah ha” moments along the way that really helped her build the life she’s living today. If you don’t have a revelatory moment when listening to her in this interview, we’ll be surprised.
 
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In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss…

  • The Wolf Parable
  • Her book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
  • The challenge of training our brains to look for the good stuff in life
  • The question: Would my life be better sober? instead of Am I an alcoholic?
  • Rock bottom being a different place for different people at different times
  • The challenge of moderation
  • The beautiful clarity of zero
  • The limbic system in distress with indecision
  • Controlling vs Enjoying drinking
  • Alcohol being like a cheat code in a video game when it comes to inhibition
  • That no one regrets being sober
  • The awful feelings at the beginning of getting sober are what you feel like because of the drinking, not the getting sober
  • Learning the skills to enjoy life sober
  • Addictive voice recognition
  • Negative Thought Patterns:
    • B&B
    • Children in a car
    • Bird watching
  • That there are many different ways to get sober
  • How expectations are resentments under construction
  • Day counting in being sober
  • I don’t vs I can’t

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A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed 

The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee Indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.

This parable goes by many names including:

The Tale of Two Wolves

The Parable of the Two Wolves

Two Wolves

Which Wolf Do You Feed

Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs