This week we talk to Toni Bernhard about not getting what we want.
Toni Bernhard was a law professor at the University of California—Davis when she became very ill. Since then she had dealt with, and helped teach the world about how to deal with chronic conditions.
She is the author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers. Her second book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. Her latest book is How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness.
In This Interview, Toni and I Discuss:
- The One You Feed parable
- How we are forming our personality as we go
- The malleability of the mind
- Our inability to be nice ourselves
- How it feels good to be nice, kind and compassionate
- Her journey through illness
- Learning to handle not getting our way
- How hard dealing with chronic illness is
- How most of our suffering comes from our reaction to
events, not the events themselves
Building a life within our limitations
Dealing with things that are out of our control
How pain and sorrow are inevitable but suffering is optional
The difference between constructive planning and worrying
Not treating moods and emotions as permanent
- The three components of discomfort
Learning to work with our minds and emotions takes time. Don’t give up
The Want Monster
Toni Bernhard Links