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In This Interview, Susan Piver and I Discuss…
- Her book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships
- The emotions underneath fear, hatred and greed
- Depression being a calcified sadness
- Turning towards sadness
- The four noble truths of love: Relationships are uncomfortable, Thinking that they should be comfortable contributes to that uncomfortableness, Meeting the discomfort and instability together IS love, There’s a threefold path to do all of this
- Feeling your feelings without the story – what does it feel like in your body? In the environment?
- The difference between anger and irritation in the body
- The enormous space that opens up when we drop the expectation that when we solve “this” problem, the relationship will stabilize and we’ll be happy
- Look at the problem itself as a team in relationships rather than blaming one another
- The threefold path: Precision, Openness, Going beyond
- The role and importance of good manners and honesty in relationships
- Good manners = thinking of the other person and making some accommodation, some space for them in your actions and your words
- Opening to the other person as they are in a relationship
- Intimacy has no end, it can always go deeper. You can always reveal more and you can always discover more
- In a relationship, commit to intimacy over love
- Addiction and abuse not included in this picture of relationship!
- How you can’t think your way into intimacy or inspiration – they come when you make the space
- Passion between two people will constantly arise, abide and dissolve and though difficult, this is not a problem
- Wishing you were in a different part of the cycle is a problem, however
- Relax with what is and a space will open up
- Her take on suffering
- Her beautiful explanation of the concept of non-attachment/detachment
- A spiritual practice frees people up to feel everything in the moment, as it is
- Your life IS the spiritual path
- In meditation we’re not trying to get anywhere, we’re trying to BE somewhere
- Meditating in’t about focusing on something but rather, bringing the brain down from some dreamworld into reality in the moment
Susan Piver Links
A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.
One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.
The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed
The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.
This parable goes by many names including:
The Tale of Two Wolves
The Parable of the Two Wolves
Which Wolf Do You Feed
Which Wolf are You Feeding
Which Wolf Will You Feed
It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs