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Susan Piver is a New York Times bestselling author of 9 books and a renowned Buddhist teacher. This is Susan’s second time on the show because we love her and her work so much. Her new book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships walks us through the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism as they apply to relationships. You don’t have to be a Buddhist or study Buddhism to get a lot out of this conversation and her new book. She teaches universal pieces of wisdom that, when applied, will grow and deepen and enrich your relationships to a whole new level.
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In This Interview, Susan Piver and I Discuss…
- Her book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships
- The emotions underneath fear, hatred and greed
- Depression being a calcified sadness
- Turning towards sadness
- The four noble truths of love: Relationships are uncomfortable, Thinking that they should be comfortable contributes to that uncomfortableness, Meeting the discomfort and instability together IS love, There’s a threefold path to do all of this
- Feeling your feelings without the story – what does it feel like in your body? In the environment?
- The difference between anger and irritation in the body
- The enormous space that opens up when we drop the expectation that when we solve “this” problem, the relationship will stabilize and we’ll be happy
- Look at the problem itself as a team in relationships rather than blaming one another
- The threefold path: Precision, Openness, Going beyond
- The role and importance of good manners and honesty in relationships
- Good manners = thinking of the other person and making some accommodation, some space for them in your actions and your words
- Opening to the other person as they are in a relationship
- Intimacy has no end, it can always go deeper. You can always reveal more and you can always discover more
- In a relationship, commit to intimacy over love
- Addiction and abuse not included in this picture of relationship!
- How you can’t think your way into intimacy or inspiration – they come when you make the space
- Passion between two people will constantly arise, abide and dissolve and though difficult, this is not a problem
- Wishing you were in a different part of the cycle is a problem, however
- Relax with what is and a space will open up
- Her take on suffering
- Her beautiful explanation of the concept of non-attachment/detachment
- A spiritual practice frees people up to feel everything in the moment, as it is
- Your life IS the spiritual path
- In meditation we’re not trying to get anywhere, we’re trying to BE somewhere
- Meditating in’t about focusing on something but rather, bringing the brain down from some dreamworld into reality in the moment