This week we talk to Kira Astrayan about overcoming loneliness
Kira Asatryan is certified relationship coach, author, blogger, loneliness expert, and speaker. She loves to speak publicly on the topic of loneliness, as it’s a problem of epidemic proportions in our modern times. She maintains a private coaching practice in San Francisco where she helps couples, and individuals develop closeness – the antidote to loneliness – in their relationships.
She has struggled with loneliness her whole life and has come to find that there are many others out there like her.
She has spent her coaching career researching, pondering, and reflecting upon what specifically makes relationships feel good or bad.
In This Interview, Kira Asatryan and I Discuss…
- The One You Feed parable
- Her book, Stop Being Lonely; Three simple steps to developing close friendships and deep relationships
- The new type of loneliness in modern society
- How closeness means direct access to another person’s inner world
- How knowing and caring are the two things that create closeness
- The importance of seeing others from their perspective and letting them see you from your perspective
- The role of being interested in and invested in another’s well-being
- That instead of fostering closeness, that worrying about someone can sometimes push them away
- What it is about technology that can cause distance even when we’re around other people
- That love is not a reliable solution to loneliness
- That deep down, we’re all very much the same
- How if you share something about yourself that is a bit deeper than surface level, it can often prompt the other person to do the same
- The difference between questions that are “too hard” vs questions that are “too soft”
- The place for and power of posing the question “What does that get you?”
- The Want, Assume, Misunderstand cycle
- The importance of having an inviting mindset and true curiosity when asking someone a question
- What it means to separate the person from the problem
- The four skills we need to have in order to foster closeness