Murder the Alternatives

Boy, that’s a dramatic-sounding title, and before you think that my equanimity has been replaced by homicidality, let me tell you what I mean.

In news that’s both happy and sad, Ginny and I are moving to Atlanta this fall.

We’ve been talking about leaving Columbus for years, and once our Columbus responsibilities were done, we’ve had the option to move, but haven’t been able to figure out where to go.

In a classic paradox of choice moment, we had endless options. And every place had its pros and cons, including Columbus and Atlanta.

But for a variety of reasons, we’ve decided it’s Atlanta.

In my recent conversation with Simone Stolzoff, he said that a Russian friend of his told him, “You make a choice, then you murder the alternatives.”

Another guest of the podcast, Ellen Langer, said it a little bit nicer: “Don’t try to make the right decision. Make the decision right.”

The essence of both, though, is that once you have decided, stop looking at any of the alternatives.

I could second-guess this decision 30 times a day if I let myself.

Did we consider Europe closely enough? I really do love Santa Fe. We could get so much more house in Columbus than Atlanta. What about Chattanooga? It’s close to Atlanta but more affordable.

On and on it can go.

But I’m following Simone’s Russian friend’s advice, and I am murdering the alternatives and putting all my effort into making the decision right.

Try This

Pick one decision you’ve already made but keep reopening. The job, the house, the couch, or where you went to dinner last Friday. This week, when the relitigating starts, take whatever energy that spiral was about to burn and spend it on the decision you made. One small act that makes it better. I’ll be looking up Atlanta neighborhoods, not Chattanooga real estate.
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Reflect on This

Which alternative are you keeping alive, and what is it costing you?