Here’s an interesting thought experiment for you.
It only takes a minute but it can be really powerful.
It’s probably fair to say that resilience is a trait we would all count as valuable in life, right?
But what do you discover when you pause to consider the question, “why is it important to cultivate resilience”?
Now, what do you discover if you take your answer to that question and then ask yourself, “and why is that important?”
Repeat that step once more – based on your answer, ask yourself, “why is that important?”.
You can drill down like this several more times if needed. (This is a helpful tool.) Doing so can help you get to the heart of why resilience really matters to you.
For me, when I go through this exercise, I discover that cultivating resilience is important to me so that I can persevere through the inevitable difficulties to come and live to my potential, getting and giving all there is to contribute and experience in this wondrous life.
If I want to live long and fully, being able to bounce back from difficulty is essential.
We have all faced real difficulties – especially this year – so it’s a particularly relevant topic right now. That’s a big reason why I recently released a special episode on the topic.
One of the individuals I interviewed was the award-winning poet and previous guest of the show, Ellen Bass. Ellen is a self-admitted worrier and during our conversation, she shared the motto that she uses to cultivate resilience when worry about difficulty sets in.
Her motto is, “work more, worry less”.
In other words, in the midst of difficulty, when she starts to worry, she turns her focus towards finding things she can do to make the situation better.
She goes on to say that it’s important to make the action a small enough step that you’ll actually take it. She says, “if you can be creative enough, there’s always something you can do to take a step in the right direction. If we can just get that step small enough, I believe there isn’t anybody who can’t take a step.”
And I agree with her. When facing difficulties of any kind, action – no matter how small – can be a powerful antidote to suffering and worry.
Now, I’m not saying we should suppress our worry through busyness. I’m saying, if you’re going to fret, fret usefully. Fret forward. Ask yourself, “what can I do about this?” Take the worry you’re feeling and channel it into productive action.
Because any action step gives you a sense of agency and moves you out of a passive bystander point of view and into the driver’s seat of your life.
This idea connects to something we say often on the podcast: sometimes you can’t think your way into right action, you have to act your way into right thinking. Our actions (or lack thereof) have a powerful influence over our state of mind and mood.
This fundamental idea is what The One You Feed Stress Reducer is built on. (Incidentally, you can get access to this Stress Reducer tool when you book a free 30-minute intro call with me for The One You Feed Personal Transformation Program).
One step in the Stress Reducer exercise is centered around writing down all that is floating around in your mind and causing you stress, and then brainstorming one action step you can take for each of these items to improve the situation. Next, you spend a few minutes actually doing these things.
For example, if you’re stressed about bills, you might write down that you’ll get all your bills organized into one place. Or, if you’re upset that your child isn’t doing well in school, maybe you send an email to the guidance counselor and teacher to set up a meeting to come up with a solution. After the brainstorm, you set a timer and get as many of these items done as you can. These items are small steps that, when taken, yield a big benefit.
Helping people cultivate resilience and make progress towards addressing problems in their life that are keeping them stuck is something I do in The One You Feed Personal Transformation Program. When you’re stuck or not making the progress you’d like toward your goals, you’re putting off living your life fully.
If you’d like to talk about how I might help you cultivate resilience and make progress where you’ve otherwise felt stuck, book a free, no-pressure 30-minute call with me to talk about how I might go about helping you. As a bonus for booking this call, you’ll get access to The One You Feed Stress Reducer system.
When you work with a coach, you get a new perspective, you add skills or tools to your list of available resources, you bring on additional support and accountability, you learn how to break goals or obstacles down into really manageable bits, and you learn how to hack your behavior or environment so that it works for you. These can be simple keys to strengthening your resilience and unlocking forward motion in your life.
I hope to talk with you soon.
Here’s to living life fully, with resilience and hope,